Hoops

The answer is:Stanford.  The question is:  Who did you pick to win it all? In her defense, Mrs. Linklater would like to point out that she still has three teams left in her final four picks -- Georgia Tech, Duke, and Oklahoma State. And she made her picks before a single game was played. So what made her lose her mind and pick Stanford [along with a bunch of other prognosticators who get PAID to make their picks by the way ]. Especially since The Cardinal [is this the PAC 10's version of The Donald?] has been ranked Numero Uno in the region before and lost way early.  This time they had a 27 and ONE record fer crying out loud. Who were they playing --junior high school teams? Doesn't matter, because Mrs. Linklater wasn't fooled by their record. No, she picked them to go all the way because Stanford has a super kid who went to the same high school she did. That's a good enough reason, isn't it?  Apparently not. 

 

 

Avoiding Work

The answer is: The Hulk. The question is:  Mrs. Linklater, who has to kick you in the butt to finish all the work you have to do today?  Here's another answer: Go out to lunch, wash my hair, watch TV, read a magazine, write emails, do an entry in my journal. And here's the question: What are you going to do to avoid working?  Okay okay okay.  I can take my own hint. I'm going to get dressed, go out and come back with a new attitude. Boy is that lame.

 

The Dead Audi

The answer is: Whatever.  The question is: Mrs. Linklater, do you think the neighbors buy your lame story about restoring a vintage car? There's a dead Audi in my driveway.  For sometime now I've been trying to get a new title so I can legally have it removed. Okay I lost the title.  Put it somewhere safe and it evaporated.  Shut up.  The first time I tried to get a duplicate title I was told the car didn't exist -- after paying the extra money to a currency exchange [stupid, stupid, stupid] to have it processed faster. So I took a picture of it [I'll upload one tomorrow] with a newspaper on the hood, like they do for hostage situations, to prove the car existed.  Nice try.  This time around I sent my money and my request for a new title downstate to the room where some woman is paid taxpayer money to search through all the old files.  Nothing.  They don't even answer the phone except to put you on hold.  And nobody covers the phones from noon until one. Bureaucracy. I should mention that I went online to CARFAX and found the car.  Couldn't they do the same thing or something? I'm thinking about hiring a chop shop to take it away piece by piece.  Or sell it piece by piece. What the heck.  Just have people come by and take what they need until it's all gone.  Let me think about that. 

Got My Epidural, Shirl

Today someone asked Mrs. Linklater -- have you ever had one of these before?  And the answer was no. "One of these" was a shot of cortisone into the epidural space. The occasion was an attempt to relieve the pain of stenosis, bone spurs and four bulging disks, L1 through L4, according to the MRI. The result of way too many sports and way too few replaceable body parts. Regular X-rays of L4 beg to differ with the MRI results, since there appears to be no evidence of any disk at that location, let alone anything that could bulge. Copies available upon request. This afternoon, sitting still while a trained professional was threading a needle through one of the little holes in my spinal column didn't feel all that bad. Except for the one incredible nano-zap that zoomed from my back to my right hip. But that one wouldn't even make my top ten most annoying experiences caused by the medical profession, which include -- wait a minute, don't want to go there, not enough room in this entry. By the way, I couldn't figure out how to celebrate St. Paddy's Day yesterday.  I don't drink.  I hate corned beef and cabbage.  And I fail to see a reason to own anything Kelly green. And the picture has nothing to do with this entry in case you're overthinking it.

St. Patrick's Day

Today's answer is: Paris. And today's question is: Where were the pictures taken? Mrs. Linklater went to Paris for the first time with her younger daughter. The chandelier and beautiful stained glass [Picture No. One] are in the lobby of the beaux arts hotel they stayed in.  Her daughter went to France on business.  Mrs. Linklater tagged along. Her friend, Karen, invited them up to her Rue de Rivoli apartment [Picture No. Two]. She was a Givenchy model years ago. Now she sings Tom Waits songs in cozy French venues. Like Willie Nelson singing Frank Sinatra in reverse. Fancy address.  Fancier apartment. High ceilings.  Glorious details. Not a piece of formica in the place.  Or a dust bunny on the floor. Museum quality paintings abound -- all done by her friends. Mrs. Linklater's painter friends are doing woodwork and walls. They had some champagne and adjourned to a lovely restaurant, Market, for dinner. Karen is fluent in French. Mrs. Linklater's daughter gets by nicely.  Mrs. Linklater is totally pathetic. Three years in high school wasted. The next day the hotel bellboy found a cab with an English speaking driver to drive her around to all the notable places she'd only seen in pictures. The Eiffel Tower is enormous.  The Arc de Triomphe is enormous. The cobblestone street that surrounds the historic arch is fascinating.  In the US it would have been paved a century ago. The most elegant city Mrs. Linklater has ever seen. With creative cab drivers who will go up on the sidewalk on occasion. Been there. Done that. The third chandelier [Picture No. Three] was in the Paris hotel room. Mrs. Linklater even photographed the marble floor in the bathroom, the wonderful, intricately carved metal door handles, and the view from the eensy weensy terrace. Quelle tourist. 

Answer of the day

The answer of the day is: Pop Tarts. In fact, Mrs. Linklater believes that Pop Tarts are the answer to any question.  How did David Letterman father a child? Pop Tarts. Why did Digger Phelps pick Texas to win it all?  Pop Tarts. Why did we go to war in Iraq?  Pop Tarts.  Why do people eat over the sink?  Pop Tarts. What made me choose pictures of two college boys in drag?  Pop Tarts.

I was in a meeting this morning where they actually served Pop Tarts. I had never had one. So I tried the French Toast flavor. It tasted like French Toast. The syrup is inside, but it sits there and doesn't drip. I also tried the chocolate with those bright green pink and blue stars on top.  I would like to see if they glow under black light.

The experience got me to wondering about the sandwiches you could make with Pop Tarts.  Spread some Marshamallow Fluff and cherries in between. Or sliced bananas and peanut butter.  Cool whip and strawberries. Melted caramel and apple slices. I also wondered about mashed potatoes and peas, but got over it. What about Pop Tarts dipped in chocolate fondue? Or Pop Tart-Ka-Bobs? I smell Zantac.