tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post5301333058014785438..comments2023-11-03T06:12:03.847-05:00Comments on Mrs. Linklater's Guide to the Universe: She's Over Sixty So She Must Be DeadMrs. Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16582230399160973531noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-48780915143154349952007-06-08T18:26:00.000-05:002007-06-08T18:26:00.000-05:00I've thought a few times lately that you must ...I've thought a few times lately that you must be dead, since you go quite a long time without posting. But I didn't call the cops. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-43212424891725644012007-06-08T18:41:00.000-05:002007-06-08T18:41:00.000-05:00All of which points out the most obvious: If she's...All of which points out the most obvious: If she's dead, what's the rush? If someone is dead inside you don't need gloves. You need a jar of Vick's and a flyswatter.<br><br>I like it when I get to wander around someone's house because they left a door unlocked and set off their alarm when they left. I get to look in their closets, under their beds, and inside their pantry, all in the quest for the invisible burglar who set off the alarm. I never knew so many people liked blueberry Pop Tarts.<br><br>I do remember a woman who was actually burglarized while she was at work, a fact she discovered as she started to go inside the house. She got out and called us to clear the house. Not only did the creeps steal her blind, they took the time to rummage around her bedroom and gather all her vibrators and toys, leaving them in a nice neat pile of about two dozen in the middle of the bed.<br><br>She probably couldn't figure out why it took seven Cops to take her report.<br><br>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-38477495301715865482007-06-08T19:40:00.000-05:002007-06-08T19:40:00.000-05:00Gosh, I don't understand why the neighbors jus...Gosh, I don't understand why the neighbors just don't knock on your door and see for themselves. I've done that to many a neighbor who leaves their garage door up at night or their water sprinkler has flooded their yard. I knock on their door until they answer............always at night. (couldn't turn the water off) Everybody has a pattern, shouldn't the villiage idiot figure yours out or at least pretend. Geeze, you give me so much to look forward to. AnneAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-79886976145343664622007-06-08T19:50:00.000-05:002007-06-08T19:50:00.000-05:00City folk! Now 'round here if we suspect some...City folk! Now 'round here if we suspect someone is dead, folk don't call the law, they just walk around the house peering in windows. Of course there are those that do that even if it isn't likely that anyone is dead. Never know.<br><br>BTW - How long DID you leave your dry-cleaing out?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-57821072031322627392007-06-08T23:18:00.000-05:002007-06-08T23:18:00.000-05:00hope they're not just trying to get you to move, M...hope they're not just trying <br>to get you to move, Mrs. L :(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-16428307783096840542007-06-08T23:21:00.000-05:002007-06-08T23:21:00.000-05:00I say walk away in your best nightie & let the...I say walk away in your best nightie & let them find you with your toys or with a lovely young guy! Give them something to talk about ha! I don't think they will come in again. Of course if you are there alone you can say to the cop, "Hey I didn't know you guys have 2nd jobs as escorts." Hmm that might get you in trouble...ok maybe a massage therapist! :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-42112688108410987752007-06-09T02:20:00.000-05:002007-06-09T02:20:00.000-05:00Um, why was your dry cleaning out? Do they delive...Um, why was your dry cleaning out? Do they deliver or something? Look on the bright side....<br><br>At least the villagers aren't grabbing torches and pitchforks.<br>AnnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-92135037979824898692007-06-09T07:36:00.000-05:002007-06-09T07:36:00.000-05:00I understand. My personal dilemma is "She...I understand. My personal dilemma is "She's over 50 and someone may have killed her."<br><br>I told my adult son he had better quit breaking in or one day he will see activity that will traumatize him for life.<br>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-31196493689594679622007-06-09T08:34:00.000-05:002007-06-09T08:34:00.000-05:00God are they anoying. That's why I live in th...God are they anoying. That's why I live in the city. Sort of.<br><br>You could start calling your neighbor everyday at, say, 600a, when you're getting up and give them an "I'm alive today, please don't call the police" update. Maybe, a special update every once in a while. "I'm in the toilet now, having a dump. It's a big one!" Or, perhaps from the dermotologist, "I'm having a mole looked at right now!"<br><br>Or, more seriously, you could (1) call the nosey neighbors to tell them that you appreciate their concern but it's getting anoying, and if they persist on calling the police, you may have to file a complaint against them for harassment; and (2) call the cops, tell them you're a lazy slob (which I am and am quite proud of), that you are an advertising exec and are frequently out of town, and your neighbors are crazy busy-bodies who are more interested in prying into your personal life than your actual health and should be ignored; and would appreciate it if they would call your cell phone before you send someone over. You also do not appreciate them breaking into your house and rummaging around without a warrant. You'd like to know the officer's name. You're represented by an attorney who will be contacting them shortly about that episode.<br><br>If you like, I can then fuck with both groups.<br><br>Lotsaluv,<br><br>D<br><br><br>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-52756619805099810302007-06-09T12:38:00.000-05:002007-06-09T12:38:00.000-05:00You are so funny! I doubt my neighbors pay that mu...You are so funny! I doubt my neighbors pay that much attention to each other to be concerned at all LOL! <br>PamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-8409011337692488842007-06-09T13:26:00.000-05:002007-06-09T13:26:00.000-05:00Hey at least you're alive and aware of the wellnes...Hey at least you're alive and aware of the wellness checks. Beats the alternative, imho.<br><br>http://2writehands.blogspot.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-73442154961275653132007-06-09T15:14:00.000-05:002007-06-09T15:14:00.000-05:00Oh......I hadn't been by this week.....I'd heard y...Oh......I hadn't been by this week.....I'd heard you were dead.<br><br>You should take advantage fo this and have some fun with them. For example, get a out of date pork butt from the butcher and hide it in your yard so it starts to smell in a few days. In the mean time.....lay low;) <br><br>Chris<br>http://inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings.blogspot.com/Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-32430296745593604572007-06-09T19:18:00.000-05:002007-06-09T19:18:00.000-05:00Mrs. LJust leave a note on your front door with my...Mrs. L<br>Just leave a note on your front door with my phone number on it. When they call I'll let them know in no uncertain terms that you are, indeed, alive and well. For proof I'll direct them to this journal. In them meantime, please accept this small donation to start your legal fund for the anti-harassement law suit.<br>SamAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-73101565790703143782007-06-11T03:39:00.000-05:002007-06-11T03:39:00.000-05:00I'm still stuck on the fact that they actually...I'm still stuck on the fact that they actually notice, and check on people where you live. Here in L.A., the fumes would have to be leaking through the windows before anybody would call the cops to come and investigate. TinaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7516392886578064543.post-23747406437334277982007-06-13T15:52:00.000-05:002007-06-13T15:52:00.000-05:00I've not seen a post in several days or receiv...I've not seen a post in several days or received any email. This must be the virtual equivalent of dry cleaning hanging on the door an hour too long. Plus, she is over sixty, she must be dead.<br><br>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com