Saturday the Thirteenth

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The thirteenth edition of "The Saturday Six."  Hmm...is 13 really unlucky?  Seems like the perfect way to begin things, doesn't it? 

1. In honor of this being the thirteenth edition of the "Saturday Six," here's a question about triskaidekaphobia, the fear of all things "13:"  You're building a skyscraper and workers are installing room numbers and programming the elevator.  Do you allow them to label the 13th floor, or do you have them skip from 12 to 14?

I worked on the thirteenth floor of a building for a year.  I lived on the thirteenth floor of a building for two years.  Only then did I began to notice that most buildings skipped the thirteenth floor. 

So, I'd keep the thirteenth floor in the skyscraper I'm building. And I'd make it a nightclub -- the Triska Disko. You'd have to climb 13 stairs to enter. And get inside by walking under 13 ladders. There would be 13 cats, all black, crossing your path every time you turned around.  The dance floor would have 13 cracks and whenever you stepped on one, you'd hear the sound of someone's mother complaining about a backache. There would be a 13 drink minimum.  And don't get me started naming them.

2. You receive an envelope in the mail from God.  (Don't ask why the Almighty is sending something through the postal service...just go with me here.)  Within the envelope is a note and a second, smaller envelope.  The note explainsthat contained inside the smaller envelope is the exact date and time of your death.  The choice of whether to peek is completely up to you.  Do you look?

I'd look.  I only get things done when I have a deadline. And this is the ultimate deadline. 

3. What pattern or design appears on your personal checks?

No pattern.  Checks never seemed to be the place for a designer's touch to me.  As my great-grandmother used to say, "That's too much sugar for a cent." [I don't know what it means either.]

4. Who are you more afraid of:  your physician, your dentist, a highway patrol officer, or an IRS auditor?

If I rank my fear in order of who can kill me the easiest, the rank would be: 1) highway patrol officer 2) physician 3) dentist 4) auditor. 

If I do it in order of whose stupidity I fear -- the order would be: 1) physician 2) IRS 3) dentist 4) patrol officer.

5. Last week I asked which word you had last looked up in the dictionary.  This week, which of the following words are you most curious to see defined?  (No cheating...you can't look them up in advance!)
A) Allochthonous
B) Gallimaufry
C) Oubliette
D) Tatterdemalion
E) Zumboorukchee

I'd choose Gallimaufry because I've heard it before and I can pronounce it easily, so I could probably use it sometime correctly in a sentence.  Whereas I can't imagine any use for the others in my lifetime, especially Zumboorukchee. Except to look them up for the Saturday Six.

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #11 from Rickpar01:  Take a look at yesterday's newspaper:  what is the top headline?

From the Onion --

D.C. Site Of First Homeless Depot

WASHINGTON, DC—In a grand opening Monday, Washington became home to the first Homeless Depot, one link in a nationwide chain of warehouse-style stores that will supply the nation's estimated 350,000 homeless people with all of their street-lifestyle essentials.

"There are 14,000 homeless people in D.C. alone, but there's never been a retail business that catered to their unique needs," store manager Geoff Alberts said. "Homeless Depot is a one-stop spot for cardboard building supplies, used carpet scraps, filthy woolen blankets, and flattened garbage-can lids. We also sell coffee cups, cigarette butts, soiled clothing, expired coupons, June 2001 People magazines, and half-empty containers of Dippity-Do hairstyling gel. Best of all, we have really nice, big, sturdy shopping carts."