Scalzi's Weekend Assignment #38

Weekend Assignment #38: It's the Holidays! Create your own festive Holiday Character and give him, her or it at least one seasonally appropriate magical ability (or use its native traits and skills to save the holiday season).

Extra Credit: Provide at least one stanza of your Holiday Character's theme song (to help you out, you may borrow the music of any familiar song).

Pepe the Pot Pourri Scent Skunk

A few years ago, in an attempt to beat Elizabeth Taylor at her own game, Pepe the Ordinary Skunk went after his own piece of the holiday perfume pie. His tagline -- BAD Can be GOOD. But no one was buying it.  Literally. After the numbers were in and it was clear that Pepe's concept of bottling his signature skunk scent during the holidays was a total bust --he decided it was time to turn his BAD boy image around. So last Christmas he hired a PR firm to clean up his act. They hooked him up with Ralph Lauren for the upcoming holidays and the rest, as they say, was marketing history.

[SUNG TO RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER]

Pepe the Pot Pourri Scent Skunk

Started smelling like a rose

And if you ever sniffed him

You would stop and say WHAT GOES?

All of the other perfumes

Said he couldn't pull it off

Skunks can't spray cloves 'n' cider

Don't make us laugh and scoff

Then one awful Christmas Eve

Santa came to say

Things don't smell too good tonight

Pepe can you make it right?

So he sprayed smells of eggnog

Pumpkin pie and cookies, too,

Pepe the Pot Pourri Scent Skunk

You'll go down in history!

 

[I can't believe I am admitting I actually wrote this]