Prudence is Ann
Landers' daughter. Apparently advice columnists don't fall too far
from the tree. Based on her advice, Mrs. Linklater can confirm that
Prudence is out of her tree.
Published November 10, 2005 SLATE online
Dear Prudence,
My husband recently informed me
that his friend is having a bachelor party in Vegas on our first
wedding anniversary. He asked me to come along, but I feel infuriated
and cannot believe he would even consider asking me to do this. I think
it is inconsiderate. I feel our first wedding anniversary should be
celebrated and honored—alone together—not with a bunch of drunken guys
in Las Vegas. Am I wrong to be angry? I know he will say that we spend
every minute together so why should it matter that we are not
celebrating our first anniversary alone together? I feel his doing
this, along with some past actions (looking at girls on the Internet
and on dating services) are huge red flags that I am not letting sink
in. I need advice on what I should do, and what you think he is doing.
I don't want to overreact.
—Wedding Belle Blues
Dear Wed,
What a guy ... so romantic and
sentimental. But given that this is his idea of fun, accept the
invitation and go to Vegas. It will shock his sox off. It is a
getaway and may, in fact, turn out to be a romantic trip after all.
Granted, this is a counterintuitive move, but your "permission" to
attend his buddy's party will give you good-sport points forever. Such
a gesture on your part seems wiser than raising hell about his wanting
to go—since you already know that's what he wants. And Prudie wonders
about a guy married only a year who is looking at dating sites. You
might want to discuss this with him, and ask him why. As to what Prudie
thinks he is doing, she has no idea, but does suggest you monitor the
situation. He sounds immature, at the very least.
—Prudie, alertly
Mrs. Linklater climbs on stage. Oh Prudie, hold my tassels will ya? They get in the way when I'm giving advice.
What's with the good sports points?
For what? Hooker heels? Lap dances? Marriage isn't about keeping score.
Although that romantic hubba bubba sounds like he wants to score with
anyone but his wifey poo. Come on, Prudence, wake up and smell the
urinal cakes, he is counting on her to bail on his invite.
Besides, do you really think his
bachelor buddy will let any woman that resembles a wife near a single one of
their all guy parties? No way a female is getting into those slimy
soirees unless she's coming out of a cake or sliding down a pole.
So Miss First -- and it sounds like
her Last -- Anniversary should just give her loved one a kiss and send
him on his way.
Tell him with a smile that she knows what happens in Vegas stays in
Vegas. Oh, and by the way, Sweetums, if you go to Vegas, stay in
Vegas. Because this is no longer your home.
That ought to shock more than his socks off.
Okay, you can return Mrs. Linklater's tassels, now. They just started playing her song.
17 comments:
"tell him...what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas...and if you go to Vegas, stay in Vegas" LOL
Prudie needs to check the playbook. "Good sports points" are awarded only when he's being a good sport too. Like taking out the garbage without being told. Leaving the seat down. Folding laundry. And not corresponding with the internet honeys he's looking at.
Tell me, Mrs L, how DO you get the tassels to swing in opposite directions at the same time?
Anna
Boy you got that right! Common sense is not showing in the Landers family. Hello...one year of marriage and he's looking elsewhere...what happens at the
"seven year itch"? Sandi http://journals.aol.com/sdoscher458/LifeIsFullOfSurprises
OH MY GOD! (plain OMG wasn't strong enough!) I can hardly catch my breath I am laughing so hard! You are too funny! Maybe you should post a warning on your site like they do at the entrances of amusement rides. 'Do not read if you have a heart condition, are prone to dizziness, or have any chronic condition including stupidity, prudism, or Vulvi Envy. If you suffer with a very active and wild imagination this Site may be WAY too much for you to handle. RUN to the nearest exit. Management is not responsible for any medical mishaps resulting from over enjoyment of this site. You must be this tall to ride (insert a pic of Albert in his fuzzy alligator suit pointing to his snout to indictae the height requirement)'
I only wish I had discovered your tassles before I wrote my entry this morning. It would have made a nice touch! Lisa
The Train, dances on more than just Tupperware party tables...
Have her hit me on the hip, while hubbypoo's behaving himself in Vegas. If she tells me she loves me, she won't even remember his name.
Beauty, brains, and intuition; that's three things that I adore about you, kitten.
... Make it four. I dig your tassels, too. [:P]
~Smooches, Brian @---->---
http://journals.aol.com/thelovetrain/tracks/
Mrs L you definitely are improving with age---This made me laugh so much my ribcage hurts......Ally
the title alone was worth the visit. And about the advice? Dead-on as always Mrs. L. :):):):) judi
I think the operative phrase at play is "past actions." If numbnutz was trolling the 'net before the Nut-ectomy ceremony, she should get back to cleaning the toilets like a good little girl. If, however, married-moron is skulking around online where no one can see his wedding band, he deserves what he gets.
Besides, only newly-married guys try that reverse-Jedi stuff anymore. Let's see...if I ask her to come to Las Vegas she'll decline and be pissed. If I go to Las Vegas on our anniversary she'll be pissed. There's only one way out of this one and it's not going to be cheap.
Women are rendered with amnesia at the sight of big, shiny rocks.
My response would have been one word......DUH.
If you have to write to someone for advice like this in the first place, I am amazed that you even know how to address a freakin' envelope and get the stamp to stick. What a loser.
Great words of advice, Mrs. L, as always, you rock!!!!!
Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://www.bigoven.com/~swibirun
Oh my, and what lovely tassels you have! Anne
Their FIRST anniversary ? My advice ... Let the bum go, and then change the locks. But not before depositing his belongings on the front lawn. Why throw any more good years after bad ? Tina http://journals.aol.com/onemoretina/Ridealongwithme
I wouldn't dream of adding anything more to your advice, which is perfect. But tell me this, what is it with "pruddie" and her annoying habit of using adverbs as part of her closing signature? Kind of makes me wonder what exactly is swimming around the Landers' gene pool. Jim, nauseatingly...
Shake it Mrs L!!!!
Love Sam xXx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/misscarberry/NoLongerSweetSixteen
Ha! Ya I say he can celebrate his 1st anniversary divorced! I say she should jump out of the cake at the bachelor party in the next room & let him watch! HA! He is scum! Why did she marry him in the first place?
Oh, Mrs. L, your deadpan delivery always is always right on! I always love reading your advice "editions", but you know that already :)
~Kris
You should be syndicated!
http://journals.aol.com/easuess/madsecretary
good advice
now, get those tassels goin
Marti
Oh, no. You're doing that thing again. Not the lapdance. Talking about yourself in the third person. We have become carricatures of our own selves. I hate when that happens.
Remo's right. The only way out is jewelry.
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