Last Year On Valentine's Day

This is an entry from last year.


Valentine's Day was a dream. I had a real dream about my first boyfriend who died of a seizure, after contracting malaria in Africa sometime in 1982. For some reason, I've never ever dreamed about him before. I hadn't given him a single thought even after I wrote about him a few months ago, when I finally tracked down his sister to find out why he died so young.

So I found it not a little mysterious, and certainly very mystical and magical that he chose Valentine's Day to show up in my life again. Part of me will always believe that this was his doing. Not some aberration from my subconscious self.

The most striking thing about his appearance in my dream was that he looked exactly like he did when I first met him on the beach. I was a 14 year old sophomore in high school and and he was an 18 year old sophomore in college.

NOTE: He thought I was older, and proceded to treat me like jailbait when he found out how young I was. However, he did tell my friends at the end of the summer that he was going to marry me when I grew up. Meanwhile, he let me write to him for three years at college, but our very first date was not until my graduation dance from high school.

Now after almost forty years, here he was in my dream, in person, in full color, and as clear to me as if he were standing in front of me right now. I have always regretted that for some reason I didn't have a picture of him to look at all these years. So the details of his face had faded somewhat. But in my dream he was as vivid as yesterday. And his features all came back to me.

His eyes were bright, electric blue; his hair was sun-bleached blond and curly. And his smile was as big and compelling as ever. All things which had faded in my memory like an old photo. So much so that I had almost completely forgotten how blue his eyes had been and how blond his hair was. But now I will remember, because no one has ever been that real to me in a lifetime of dreams.

The best part was when he asked me to dance. What a romantic idea. So he took me in his arms and we danced the rest of dream away. Around and around. Talking and laughing. Never taking our eyes off each other. Until I suddenly realized we were no longer on the ground, but dancing high in the air, floating in the clouds.



So I had a wonderful Valentine's Day. Some very special people remembered me here on the ground.

And so did someone I thought I forgot.