I'll Just Sit Here Alone In The Dark

Last night I saw ATONEMENT, or the eleventy-first costume drama starring Keira Knightley in the only role she ever plays -- upper class, petulant British lass with no discernible breasts.

Unfortunately, I was not prepared for an unexpected ending which left me emotionally drained. Not that I become so involved with the characters that they seem real to me. Or anything.

But the plot was just tricky enough to cause whiplash when I was jerked out of my happy ending comfort zone and sucker punched with the story's truth. It should have come with a warning. Caution: The ending of this movie may not be suitable for more sensitive viewers who need to get a life.

I walked out of the theater feeling pretty melancholy. Until I saw that Raisinets were half price.

This morning I got the other half of a double whammy. First ATONEMENT, then Dan Fogelberg goes and dies from prostate cancer at only 56. His songs have been getting airplay all day and reminding me of yet another freaking old boyfriend. He was a young 28 when I met him. He's gotta be fifty something now. What is going on? It's Christmas and the ghosts of my past life have nothing better to do but haunt me? 

I used to think Dan Fogelberg's songs were a little too sentimental, but now I think he tells musical stories almost as well as Harry Chapin. Even without the electric cello.

Same Old Lang Syne was chosen as Fogelberg's anthem for today. The holiday lyrics and all. I had a similar experience running into a past life at my local Barnes and Noble a few years ago.

But the words from Longer are the ones that can still make me blubber like a baby in the car.

Okay, cue the band. . .gimme the Mr. Microphone.


1. Same Old Lang Syne
(Dan Fogelberg)

Met my old lover in the grocery store,
The snow was falling Christmas Eve.
I stole behind her in the frozen foods,
And I touchedher on the sleeve.

She didn't recognize the face at first,
But then her eyes flew open wide.
She went to hug me and she spilled her purse,
And we laughed until we cried.

We took her groceries to the checkout stand,
The food was totaled up and bagged.
We stood there lost in our embarrassment,
As the conversation dragged.

We went to have ourselves a drink or two,
But couldn't find an open bar.
We bought a six-pack at the liquor store,
And we drank it in her car.

We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to now.
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness,
But neither one knew how.

She said she'd married her an architect,
Who kept her warm and safe and dry,
She would have liked to say she loved the man,
But she didn't like to lie.

I said the years had been a friend to her,
And that her eyes were still as blue.
But in those eyes I wasn't sure if I saw,
Doubt or gratitude.

She said she saw me in the record stores,
And that I must be doing well.
I said the audience was heavenly,
But the traveling was hell.

We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to now.
And tried to reach beyond the emptiness,
But neither one knew how.
We drank a toast to innocence,
We drank a toast to time.
Reliving in our eloquence,
Another 'auld lang syne'......

The beer was empty and our tongues were tired,
And running out of things to say.
She gave a kiss to me as I got out,
And I watched her drive away.
Just for a moment I was back at school,
And felt that old familiar pain
And as I turned to make my way back home,
The snow turned into rain. . .

2. Longer

Longer than there've been fishes
in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.
Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.
I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.
Through the years as the fire
starts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the
pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.
Longer than there've been fishes
in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you..