The Real Snow Storm

I guess that storm we had over the weekend was just for practice. A kick in the pants to get the snowblowers ready. The real storm went through here last night. Complete with lake effect snow.

As near as I can tell lake effect means that the clouds, which usually move east across the water towards the state of Michigan, turn around and head back our way. At this point the lake starts to act like a huge glass of water. Coming back across the lake, the clouds are like giant straws, sucking up water and turning it into snow, now that the weather is cold enough. When the clouds hit the warm land back on our side, they stop and take a big dump, and they don't stop evacuating until there's a strong enough wind to push them back across the lake again. This laxative usually takes twelve hours or so to finish doing its job. So the snow may fall gently, but it falls relentlessly. Then if the clouds really get stuck on our side of the lake, we can get as much as 27 inches in 24 hours like we did back in 1967.

Needless to say the sissy storm last weekend didn't require a snowblower because everything melted the next day. Today with six to seven inches on the the ground the snowblowers were out making driveways safe for mail carriers and wellness checks.

Except mine. When I could no longer shovel my driveway, I bought a 5 HP machine at full retail a few snow storms ago. My neighbor and I agreed to share it. Since I paid through the nose for it, he would maintain it, keep it at his place, and snow blow my driveway when it was needed.

So I was a little disappointed to discover that my driveway had not been cleared when I went out this morning. Disappointed? I think "Oh, sh*t" is what I said when I came outside.

When I got back from doing errands, nothing had been done this afternoon either. I was going to call and tell my neighbors just to get the machine started up and I would do my own driveway, but they weren't home.

Then I noticed the new guy from across the street had fired up a huge snowblower that looked like it could take out an iceberg. He was walking around the neighborhood doing driveways and sidewalks on his own.

Maybe he'll do mine I thought. Strangely, since I'm the only single lady living alone, he only did my sidewalk and then, inexplicably, he began doing my neighbors' driveway. WTF?

Wait a minute, those people have a snowblower -- my snowblower -- and they can do their own driveway. AFTER they do my driveway.

Hoping to get the new guy to do MY driveway, because I deserved it more than my neighbors, I walked over to thank him for doing my sidewalk. I asked him about his snowblower, mustering up as much admiration as I could for something that does nothing but spit snow. Wow, 9 HP. Mine is only 5 HP -- my neighbor has it in his garage. Yes, the neighbor whose driveway you just did. He's supposed to do my driveway when it snows -- did I mention that it's my snowblower that he has in his garage. But now that you've done his driveway, I'm not sure mine will get done.

The new guy said he just got his snowblower and he was only trying to be a good neighbor. Sure. Sure. I figured chances were good that I could get my driveway done after all. Considering that the new guy built a monstrous house with an ugly turret that's been on the market for over a year, he has a lot of good nieghbor catching up to do. I nodded and smiled at him, walked back to my house, hoping he'd get the hint and finish MY driveway.

Didn't happen. He actually walked passed my house and took his new machine over to help another neighbor, who was out shoveling his driveway. So now two of my neighbors, one of whom should have done my driveway early this morning, both have clean driveways, thanks to the new guy.

And I got squat.