Dr. Phil's Mustache

I have always been a fan of all things Dr. Phil, except for his mustache. Readers who have managed to follow this blog and still remain awake may recall Mrs. Linklater's philosophy of male facial hair: guys who wear it are hiding something -- from pedophilia to repressed emotions to family/personal secrets. Except when wives or girlfriends request it. Or there's a medical reason.

In case you're wondering, she has yet to formulate a philosophy about female facial hair.

Needless to say Mrs. L has long been curious about what Dr. Phil's stash is hiding, besides most of his face. He has gone on record that he refuses to shave it, despite requests, even though photos of him without it reveal a much better looking man. Mrs. Linklater wonders if he thinks he looks like Tom Selleck. NOTE TO DR. PHIL: You don't.

So, she was happy to learn a couple of years ago that he had been married once before. Aha, that was a secret most people didn't know about. But as secrets go, it wasn't much. Especially since his second marriage had lasted for freaking ever and seems so happy it's sickening. He also fessed up to having an alcoholic father. Not particularly earthshaking, but something a mustache could be hiding. Meanwhile, Mrs. L has been waiting, like Madame DuFarge, for a really big shoe to drop.

Here comes this Britney Spears thing. Turns out the good doc is not licensed to practice psychology in California. BFD. First inflammatory media reports accused him of not even being a psychologist, but he is a trained clinical psychologist with a doctorate, who had a private practice in Texas for a long time. No secret there.

Psychologists are like attorneys in that you have to meet certain licensing requirements to practice in each state. You can't just hang out your shingle anywhere.

The general opinion seems to be that Dr. Phil didn't actually practice psychology when he went to visit the little tartlette because he didn't get paid for going to see her. I guess California has  a specific defintion for practicing psychology and it includes the exchange of money for services.

The reason Brit's family is pissed is because he said stuff to the media afterward. Doctor-patient privilege stuff. But he didn't really say anything except that she was in trouble and Dr. Drew, the ubiquitous celebrity re-hab psychiatrist who also has his own show, said pretty much the same thing a couple of weeks ago -- and nobody is suing him.

The good news for Mrs. Linklater's mustache theory is that in the midst of all this tumult, another secret has been revealed. Apparently a former patient reported Dr. Phil to the board of examiners or whoever oversees Texas psychologists. He was supposedly "inappropriate" with this patient. One account said that after providing psychological services, Dr. Phil hired his former patient to work for him, which is not considered kosher doctor/patient relationship behavior. O-o-o-o-o. Heck, I know a psychoanalyst who divorced his wife and married the mother of one of his teen patients who divorced her husband, and that shrink wasn't excommunicated.

Apparently the Philmeister was sanctioned for this transgression, but instead of enduring the punishment and continuing with his privqte practice, Dr. Phil just shut it down. So he's not licensed to practice in Texas anymore either. His show gets around all the licensing stuff because it is considered entertainment, not therapy.

I don't know whether he went into jury consulting before or after closing his practice, but it doesn't matter. He met Oprah and the rest is history.

But now with "inappropriate behavior" hiding under his mustache, he's looking like a charlatan and a showboat, which is unbecoming at the very least. But, there must be more secrets, because he's still determined to keep that ridiculous mustache. Is it just me, or does it make him look like Mr. Potato Head?

Time to start getting real, Dr. Phil.