Joran van der Sloot and Robert Chambers -- Separated at Birth?

Would someone please put Joran van der Sloot out of our misery?

During his hidden camera Land Rover ramble, the Netherlands' answer to Robert Chambers tried to pass Natalee Holloway's death off as some kind of seizure. [Oddly, the police in Aruba asked Natalee's parents sometime ago whether she had a history of epilepsy -- a sign of incompetent and/or corrupt law enforcement, anyone?]

Of course, during his hidden camera confession, there was never an ounce of accountability on Joran's part -- he claimed it was all an accident, something NATALEE [he called her the "bitch" at one point] experienced all by herself during their sexual tryst on the beach. He mentioned she was drunk [thanks in part to plying her with 151 proof booze], implying she caused her own death.

If all that were true, a normal human being would have sought help for someone in so much distress, rather than dragging her [dead? comatose?] body into the bushes and calling a friend to dispose of it.

Since Joran acknowledges that her body would have been found with his semen inside, I'm inclined to think that what really happened is that he choked her to death while raping her. Or he raped her after choking her to death. Take your pick.

But how to explain the seizure she supposedly experienced?

It just so happens that Javier Bardem provides us with a useful demonstration of what Natalee's alleged seizure might have looked like in the highly touted new film, No Country for Old Men. Playing a total nutcase -- how appropriate -- Bardem chokes a police officer to death. We see the killer's face contorted by the effort [did Joran look like this?] as we watch the cop trembling and shaking like he's having a grand mal seizure while being strangled.

If you haven't seen the movie, perhaps you have seen old newsreels of people who are hanged until they are dead. Once the trap door drops and their necks break, you often see similar involuntary, jerky movements. Like a seizure.

To a psychopath like say, Joran, Natalee's death throes may have seemed like an epileptic seizure. Particularly since he had probably disassociated himself from the act of killing her, in keeping with the Jekyl and Hyde personality he really is.

What's next?