20/20 Hindsight

I have always enjoyed better than average eyesight. Of course, I didn't appreciate how good it was until I was almost fifty and had to get my first pair of reading glasses. The fact that most people need reading glasses ten years sooner didn't mean squat to me.

All of a sudden I couldn't see what I was reading anymore. I went into a funk. I overcame my denial long enough to get a pair of Walgreen's readers but I stayed in a funk.  Because I couldn't adjust my eyes to wearing glasses. It was like walking and chewing gum. I couldn't get the hang of it. 

What a baby.

Finally, I caught on. It took about a year. For a time I even stopped reading. The part I couldn't and still can't comprehend was that my vision was still considered excellent -- 20/15, because I guess needing reading glasses doesn't affect the big picture. So for the last fourteen years I've been coasting, using Walgreen's readers and upping the strength as reading begins to get blurry. Most lately my reading vision corrected at 1.75.

Recently, I got a reminder to come in for an eye checkup and, like a good little soldier, I did as I was told. To make a long story short my left eye is pissing me off. I can't see the teeny tiny letters on the chart any more. Certainly not nearly as well as my right eye. I was also told that I had developed astigmatism. Or do you develop AN astigmatism? That's how much about eyesight I know.

So here's the deal -- after my exam, I ordered a pair of reading glasses because now my left eye needs a stronger reading lens than my right and you can't get lenses like that at Walgreen's.

The frames cost about $79, so I didn't think that was too bad.  Until I saw all the other charges for the lenses. There's a charge for non glare, a charge for lightweight, a charge for UV, a charge for being stupid enough to think there wouldn't be any more charges.  So now we're up to $186. Let's not talk about insurance coverage because that's not even the point.

The point I'm getting at is when I put on the new reading glasses yesterday I felt like my left eye was looking through a fun house mirror. I did the thing where you close one eye and then the other to see if they can see things the same. My left eye was seeing weird stuff, like a 3-D effect. My right eye was crisp and clean and fine.

To compare, I put on my latest Walgreen readers to see if it was my eye or the lens. I did the one eye at a time thing and I could see fine with either eye using the old readers.

So it's not my eye, it's the lens. I can see better with the cheapo twenty buck readers than I can with this new pair of fancy ass almost two hundred dollar readers.

Now I have to come back for another eye exam tomorrow. I'm sure they'll charge me for it. Or accuse me of trying to cheat on the eye test or something. How else would a prescription get messed up? These are trained professionals -- they don't make mistakes. It's my left eye's fault.

In the midst of all this I also found out that my vision isn't as good as it used to be. Duh. I can tell I can't see as far as I used to. I can tell I need stronger reading glasses. I can tell my left eye seems to be acting weird. So what are we talking about? 20/80? 20/200?

No, 20/20. 

Weird.