Meanwhile I've had to make do with Second City Cop. The blog is written anonymously, which guarantees a lot of bitching and moaning about the powers that be, who usually include the Windy City's latest top cop, Garry McCarthy, and Chicago's new mayor, Rahm Emanuel. I guess it gives me the warm fuzzies to know that the police are just as disgruntled with how they're treated, as I have been disgruntled with how the suburban officers around here have treated me.
Usually I don't comment on Second City Cop's blog, I just read the many anonymous, semi-literate responses that follow his entries, most of which are entertaining for their creative spelling and grammar, or inflammatory screeds about the welfare citizens of Chicago. But a couple of days ago, I got royally ticked off by the last line of an ENTRY he wrote about some sad 13-year-old juvenile delinquent who was arrested for robbery and aggravated assault. As a single, working mother, I was not amused when I read where this police officer firmly placed the blame --
"We're guessing it may be a single parent household to start...."
So, naturally, I felt it was time for me to step up and take this typical cop stereotype to the woodshed. Especially since it turns out the boy comes from a [surprise!!] two-parent family. I'm an American and that's what we do. Here's what I wrote in the comments:
Over the years, I've asked several people what they think the definition of a dysfunctional family is. Every single one of them starts out with, "a single parent household." Just like you.
Instead of succumbing to my inclination to tell all of you to go fuck yourselves, let me offer an alternative opinion: a dysfunctional household is one where family members live in fear. It may start when a small child experiences the fear of going hungry, then escalate to the fear of homelessness and abandonment. Too often these fears are accompanied by the fear of physical and sexual abuse and culminate with a daily, ongoing fear of dying.
If, as one commenter noted, "The whole family are assholes. . ." then I suspect this hapless 13-year old has been subjected to parenting that uses severe beatings for discipline. It may include a mother who has been overtly sexual towards her son by exposing him to her naked body inappropriately. Or a father who verbally assaults him. Perhaps another male relative has been molesting him since he was eight or nine. Or all of the above. Surely you are aware that thirteen is an age when abused children often start acting out with violence, alcohol and drugs.
Sadly, we all know this kid won't make it to eighteen.
But it's not the number of parents who raise a kid that makes a difference in a child's eventual outcome. It's the behavior of those parents. Their core values. Their life skills. And most of all, their level of education.
My daughters were raised ALONE by this divorced, but college educated mother from the time they were six and three. One has her masters and chairs her high school's English department. The other received a senate appointment to one of the military academies, but chose not to go. She graduated from college cum laude and was recently promoted to head of sales for her company in Asia.
So I am one pissed off single parent, a working mother who takes extreme exception to your cavalier assessment that a single parent household caused some juvenile delinquent's criminal behavior.
Asshole.
Instead of succumbing to my inclination to tell all of you to go fuck yourselves, let me offer an alternative opinion: a dysfunctional household is one where family members live in fear. It may start when a small child experiences the fear of going hungry, then escalate to the fear of homelessness and abandonment. Too often these fears are accompanied by the fear of physical and sexual abuse and culminate with a daily, ongoing fear of dying.
If, as one commenter noted, "The whole family are assholes. . ." then I suspect this hapless 13-year old has been subjected to parenting that uses severe beatings for discipline. It may include a mother who has been overtly sexual towards her son by exposing him to her naked body inappropriately. Or a father who verbally assaults him. Perhaps another male relative has been molesting him since he was eight or nine. Or all of the above. Surely you are aware that thirteen is an age when abused children often start acting out with violence, alcohol and drugs.
Sadly, we all know this kid won't make it to eighteen.
But it's not the number of parents who raise a kid that makes a difference in a child's eventual outcome. It's the behavior of those parents. Their core values. Their life skills. And most of all, their level of education.
My daughters were raised ALONE by this divorced, but college educated mother from the time they were six and three. One has her masters and chairs her high school's English department. The other received a senate appointment to one of the military academies, but chose not to go. She graduated from college cum laude and was recently promoted to head of sales for her company in Asia.
So I am one pissed off single parent, a working mother who takes extreme exception to your cavalier assessment that a single parent household caused some juvenile delinquent's criminal behavior.
Asshole.
It's not nice to upset Mrs. Linklater.
4 comments:
Speaking from experience: I had two parents and my childhood was as dysfunctional as you can get!
I just visited Remo's blog. I honestly didn't know he still had one, since it never shows up on my Blogger dashboard (he blogs so infrequently now).
Remo Sez used to show up on my dashboard, but not his latest posts. Is he in stealth mode?
Consider this the equivalent of a standing ovation. Great comment. To say the cop journal is cynical is an understatement. I have all the respect in the world for law enforcement (because I know I couldn't do it) but wow, maybe he needs a new profession.
Remo still shows up on my dashboard, though I notice you have to click through a "this blog might be offensive..." warning. That seems a tad ridiculous as well.
Hey Des' Dad -- thanks for the standing O!!! And I just discovered you've got two kids to daddy now!!! Congrats! [I think I've used up my allotment of exclamation points for the day]
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