Monday, February 6, 2006

Face Transplant or Root Canal -- You Be The Judge

That babe in France ain't got nothing on me. She had her face ripped off by her dog when she overdosed on drugs and fell asleep. I feel like I had my face ripped off by a school of piranhas at the endodontist. And I was wide awake.

Endodontist is another word for a dentist who says this is going to hurt you more than it hurts me. He was very soothing in his toothside manner, describing every gory root canal step along the way. In fact, he was so thorough I could probably perform the next one myself. May there never be a next one.

But first, the doc numbed me with enough heavy duty Marcaine to immobolize a large horse. I had warned them in advance, don't skimp on the drugs, please. Kind of like an alcoholic who can slam down a case of beer and not show any signs of losing consciousness.

So much local anesthesia isn't necessary for most people but my body soaks up the regular stuff like a sponge. This not only meant that the endodontist had to give me the extra strong stuff, he had to stop three times to give me even MORE. Because I could still FEEL what he was doing.

The root canal procedure took less time to get in there and take care of business than cleaning my teeth. Faster than you can say my face looked like I had had a stroke, especially when I tried to smile, he was into that aching back tooth of mine, reaming out the three nerve roots, filling them up with something like Play Doh, and pronouncing me ready to go home and take the rest of the day off.

All things considered, it was painless, well except for the painful part, a couple of times during the drilling, when I was absorbing Marcaine faster than he could pump it into me.

This was my first root canal. Before he started the doc said he thought I was about as relaxed as a person who is in an endodontist's chair getting ready to have a root canal can be. I thought so too. I often fall asleep during teeth cleaning, so why not a root canal?  Haaaaaaa.

I was still relaxed even after reading the long list of things that can go wrong during a root canal, which I was required to sign. My favorite was the one that said the instruments can break off and may be left in there.  EWWW.

In their favor, the dentists who do these things have created a whole new set of advanced procedures, a bunch of fancy new drills and other tools, all designed to get things done quickly. Since that's all these guys do all day, the process is rather streamlined. I wish I had a picture of all the stuff that was in my mouth. Retractors, suction, strange things I can't describe.

I was breathing through my mouth, then my nose, then my mouth, with a plastic surgical protective cover that obscured most of my face. I was also given a set of dark glasses so I looked cool from the eyes up.

Now that I'm home and the anesthetic is wearing off, I'm waiting for a pulsing ache to take its place. But, so far, nothing, not even where the needle stuck me at least a dozen or so times. I was in a lot of pain before the procedure. Throbbing from my left ear to my lower right jaw. All my teeth ached until the pain got bad enough to wake me up in the middle of the night when everything localized in that back tooth. 

Anybody got a hernia operation to share? 


suzypwr said...

You win, as long as you don't decide to take up smoking again like that French woman did as soon as she got a new set of lips.

My child used to think I was joking when she mouthed off at me and I threatened to rip her lips off.

Feel better - I usually take a nap until all the anesthetic wears off. I also am hard to anesthetize. I felt your pain, uhm, injections.


ksquester said...

Please say you took some nitrous? That stuff is WONDERFUL!!!  I resisted the nitrous until my first root canal. BTW, the best thing for tooth pain is plain ole asprin. (thins the blood out!)  May the force by with you!  Go watch Little Shop of Horrors right now. haaaaaa    Anne

sdoscher458 said...

At least your dentist knew where to put the needle, I once had a dentist inject me in the wrong place and he almost paralyzed my throat, could hardly swallow/breathe it was awful..I had had oral surgery and I tried to tell him that what he was aiming for was probably not there...I was a drooling, gulping babbling idiot for hours.....Sandi

sunnyside46 said...

OMG  I am up tonight freaking out because  have to have a tooth pulled in the morning! Send me positive vibes please!

mombzbe said...

Last time I required a lot of injections, my face was numb for days.  Days!  But you know, nothing beats pain relief when you are awake for a procedure like that.  Bring on the needles!  
Hope you are feeling better this morning.

swibirun said...

Brett (17 y/o) and I went to the dentist on 1/12.  The dentist came in to check me out and told me that Brett was one tough kid.  I asked why and the dentist informed me that he did the filling without local anethesia at Brett's request.  

In the car, I asked Brett was because he didn't want the shot!!!!!!  I have to work on him with this thing called logic.

Hope you are feeling pleasant!

Most recent entry was 2/06/06

onemoretina said...

Glad to hear that all went well.  I've had more than one root canal, and the worst part for me is keeping my mouth open that long.  Oh, and the fact that I seem to have anesthetic problems like you do.  The stuff just doesnt stay with me.  I had to have so much of the numbing stuff last week, when I had my surgery, that I had pools of it swelling up my eyes.  Isn't it just so much fun to get older?  I remember when I used to sit around and talk about dates and job opportunities.  Now the topic is surgeries, or all the stuff that seems to be growing on my body these days.  Lovely.    Tina

artloner said...

Sorry Boo.  Feel better soon.  (You're such a Puss)