Friday, August 10, 2007

Breakfast of Champions

John Daly, whose distinctive profile makes him easy to confuse with the Goodyear blimp, is playing in a major tournament on the golf tour. I thought he had a permanent ticket to re-hab somewhere. But here he is back again. In fact, he finds himself in second place, two strokes behind the leader in the midst of the PGA championship. Okay, it's only the start of the second day, but still, not bad for a guy who has been the poster boy for addiction and self destructive behavior.

This is usually where Mrs. Linklater invokes the "he was probably molested/abused in his youth" mantra -- by a [take your pick]: priest, scoutmaster, teacher, relative. Consider it invoked.


Ever the conscientious athlete, Daly practiced for the event by playing the slots at a local casino. To keep his edge over the long hot course yesterday, he's been smoking cigarettes and drinking diet Cokes. Alcoholics usually hit the caffeine and nicotine pretty hard trying stay off the sauce. Obviously, he's also been raiding the refrigerator too. And let's not forget the gambling.

Luckily, I don't live in a glass house. I just throw stones.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I watched some interviews with the players on how they were dealing with the heat/humidity in Tulsa. Daly's response? "I guess ya have to drink some water. I hate the dang stuff, so I'll just keep smoking a pack and a half and drinking my Diet Cokes." God Bless John Daly. If he wasn't out there it would be a parade of robotic foreigners.

I've been taking the same holistic approach to my journal entries for years.

Anonymous said...

Hey he makes the game more interesting at least! I mean heck if he can still hit a tiny white ball with a thin stick more power to him...I can't do it sober that is for sure. Makes me think of the days of Bob Hope, Dean Martin etc playing golf! HA!

Anonymous said...

Go John!