Keep My Day Job

Good thing I don't gamble.

I figured that since Rancy [I meant Nancy, I mean, RANDY] Moss was playing for the Raiders now, Oakland had a chance against the Eagles, who were really hurting this week.

But N-O-O-O-O-O-O!!!  Eagles win when their hamstrung kicker makes a field goal in the last seconds. He figured it was only one second of complete agony for a chance to win the game. He was right on both counts.

I picked the Bears over Cincy because I live in Chicago. I know, there's is absolutely no rational reason for that choice. Mainly because the Bengals' QB, Carson Palmer, is, and probably always will be, a better quarterback than Kyle Orton.

Bears don't just lose. They get killed. Orton, the rookie who didn't look too bad last week, gets picked off five times. Ha.

I picked Pittsburgh over the Patriots because the Pats were pretty beat up. I also like Big Ben. But the Patriots' kicker won it in the last seconds. In his first twenty games Ben has only lost two. Both to the Patriots. By the way, did he shave his head or does he have a fungus?

I picked Tampa Bay over Green Bay. I guess I thought it was about time they won. Hey, they did. I celebrated with some cheese.

I picked New Orleans over Minnesota by using the Katrina factor. I believe that thinking went something like "evacuees play harder." Minnesota looked really bad without Randy Moss, when they lost the week before. And Culpepper looked chubby.

Needless to say, Minnesota wiped up the stadium with the Saints. Turns out they have a rookie who can catch.

This is why I'm asked to sit by myself in another room when the games are on.

And my bank accounts are frozen on game days.