Oral Roberts University Scandal

There's one titillating bit of information from the unfolding Oral Roberts University scandal which tickles my funny bone. For anyone who has been minding their own business, I guess Oral's son and his wife are spending a boatload of money on inappropriate things -- like a trip for their daughter and her friends to the Bahamas in the university jet. And giving free non-academic scholarships to friends. But those things are small potatoes. Nothing to get your knickers in a knot over.

Of course Junior has also been illegally funding politcal campaigns with school money and firing people that question his decisions. But even that stuff doesn't seem like such a big deal as scandalous behavior goes. Bad behavior among right wing religious nuts doesn't start to reach a critical mass until you get the distinct whiff of sexual impropriety.

That's why the Missus got my attention.

Not because of the $39,000 they claim she spent at Chico's, which is a marvel in and of itself. She couldn't shop at Saks? Chico's is to fashion what wings are to fish. I know, I shop there. Nothing at Chico's costs more than $150, not to mention that you get a discount every time you spend over $500, so she must have had to buy out a couple of stores, throwing around that kind of dough. Along with her Imelda Marcos level of shopping, you can include all the remodeling money they've spent on their house, too. How much could that be? Chump change when you consider that the family rakes in over seventy mil a year in donations to the school.

But when they said she had been text messaging underage males in the middle of the night on cell phones provided to the lads by the, uh, university, my interest was quickly elevated. Was she offering solace to young men who were confessing their sins? Or just providing some good old fashioned phone canoodling?

Perhaps when Mrs. Roberts gets around to fessing up, we will learn about a new meaning for the ORAL in Oral Roberts.