Monday, August 17, 2009

Style Points for Patrick Kane

You've heard the story.

Patrick Kane is twenty years old. Right away you know his brain is mush. He skipped college to be drafted as a professional hockey player for a nice chunk of change. So he has an unbridled sense of entitlement. Plus he's so good that he's already an All-Star for the Chicago Blackhawks. Which means he will test positive for testosterone poisoning until he retires.

He and his 21 y.o. cousin, James Kane were home in Buffalo, spending a night on the town. So that means testosterone poisoning and a mushy brain -- times two.

At 5 AM they grabbed a taxi and headed home. I guess the tab was $13.80. Patrick gave the driver $15 and expected change. Stop the video. CHANGE? I guess that's how you know he's a hockey player.

The driver gave them a dollar, but didn't have the remaining $.20, so the boys yanked their money back and prepared to get out of the cab and stiff him. What a couple of hoodlums.

But the cabbie [driving without a license and 2 DUIs on his record] turned the tables and locked them in the cab until they gave him the money back, which is illegal -- locking them in, not taking the money back.

Naturally, the five foot nine-ish Patrick [did I mention he was a hockey player?] and his 220 pound 6 foot 4 inch cousin roughed up the guy [allegedly], until he gave them their money and let them out. "Do you know who I am?" screamed Kane [allegedly], as he pounded on the 63 y.o. old guy. Nothing but class.

I guess at some point, there will be a multi-bucks civil suit filed by the driver for the beating he got.

I think he's also got brain damage because he hired a lawyer who threw him under the bus during an interview with a Chicago radio station. The lawyer for the cab driver went on and on about how everything had been blown out of proportion, that the driver shouldn't have locked the kids inside the taxi. How he didn't recognize Patrick Kane. And there was no way there would be a felony charge against the boys. Hello?!


After the driver sues Kane, he should turn around and sue his lawyer for malpractice.

Meanwhile, Kane is charged with felony robbery, theft of services, and criminal mischief. Which shows what lawyers know.

Of course, who knows what will happen to the old guy for driving without a license and locking the boys in his taxi.
But chances are they will drop the charges against the two goofs [because one of them is a hockey player], so they'll probably drop them against the taxi driver, too.

Here's what I don't understand. Patrick Kane makes millions playing hockey. He got a $13.80 ride, then had the balls to pay the guy $15 and ask for change. He gets a buck back. But he and his cousin just had to have that last $.20.

In the end, it's not the change that is so egregious.

It's NOT TIPPING that boggles the mind. That's a much better reason for locking them in the cab.

If the cousins had done that to me [assuming I was a 63 y.o. cabdriver] and Patrick Kane started screaming, "Do you know who I am?"

I would have said "Yep. You are one cheap bastard."

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