Assignment #5 Celebrity Encounter

Answer: The Eagles. Not one of those guys is more than 5'8" max. Question:  What is the shortest group of rockers you can think of?

Mrs. Linklater eschews rock concerts. She prefers the safety of her earphones. Or the privacy of her car where she can sing along as badly as she wants while she plays her favorite songs again and again and again.

At rock concerts nuance is nonexistent. Amplifiers rule. Sound comes in two speeds -- loud and louder.

There are endless lines at the toilet paper free bathrooms. 

And the venue menu tends to be carbo loaded -- hot dogs in soggy buns, nachos with lip searingly hot melted cheese, chips and candy bars left over from the original Stones tour. And, of course, beer, beer, beer, more beer and tasteless, watery soft drinks 

Having said all that, Mrs. Linklater was invited to an Eagles concert last night. She went. With traffic and weather, the commute alone took eight hours there and back.

Yes, she had a hotdog in a soggy bun. Yes, the amps were ramped up. Yes, the place was soaked in beer. Yes, everybody flicked their Bics. Yes, it was a great concert.

All of which, in a somewhat ironic way, brings us around to her celebrity encounter.

About twelve years ago she was in Aspen staying at an old boyfriend's house for a week or so over New Year's.

Not wanting to starve during her visit Mrs. Linklater suggested shopping for groceries. At the local market he headed for the libation area, and she went to produce. 

Soon, she found herself trying to figure out how to open up a strangely configured plastic bag so it could be filled up with vegetables.

She noticed two other people having the same difficulty -- a lady with a kid in her cart on her left and a short, apparently homeless man on her right.

Perhaps "homeless" isn't fair. Maybe he just hadn't had time to comb his hair or shave that morning. And it was easier to put on a ratty old coat over the clothes he must have slept in, since he was only going to the grocery store. 

But even if he wasn't really homeless, he was still short.

So there they were, all three of them, lined up in produce, struggling with their stupid plastic bags.

Soon opening the bags became a sport, with ribald, running commentary from Mrs. Linklater. The lady with the kid was amused by the unexpected entertainment.

However, the scruffy, short guy kept looking at Mrs. Linklater like he wanted to kill her.

Hm-m-m-m, are we a little edgy today? Clearly he did not like having someone make fun of his produce skills

Finally Mrs. Linklater got an artichoke into her bag in triumph -- and promptly pricked her finger on a leaf. "Serves you right!" the short, scruffy, homeless-looking man said gleefully. After which he smiled proudly at his tepid insult.

Undaunted, Mrs. Linklater wished everyone luck and took her hard-won bag of artichokes to the check out line where her old boyfriend was waiting at the counter.

He leaned over and whispered, "Do you know who that was?"   "No, who?" replied Mrs. Linklater. 

"Don Henley."

"Who's Don Henley?"