Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Looks Like The Coyotes Are Trying To Tell Us Something, Pappy

 

I talked to my girlfriend in Bozeman today. Her life used to resemble mine, because she once lived only five miles away. Then she moved to Montana, where there is a hamburger place in her town called Bob's, with a neon sign out front that says SORRY, WE'RE OPEN. She's got eagles instead of pigeons sitting on her fences, and mountains instead of Chem Lawn trucks out her front door. Not to mention elk steaks for dinner. No more frou frou chef salad crap for her.

She says the birds are all gathering like they're getting ready to leave town. The skunks and coyotes are also coming down from the mountains. Granted none of this seems like much on the face of it. But this movement of animals is all happening six weeks early.

An early migration means it's going to be a nasty winter. So what do the birds, skunks and coyotes leaving Montana have to do with me sitting here in Chicago?

Well, if you look at a map of the country and  follow the weather patterns, lots of stuff comes down the pike from out there yonder. I have scientific proof, too. Everytime my friend calls from Bozeman I ask her what the weather is that day. That's so I know what to wear the day after tomorrow. Really. Because, for some reason, their weather becomes our weather about forty-eight hours later. 

Montana, by the way, has been having a bad drought. This summer Chicago had the worst drought since they started keeping records.  So, if this early bird, coyote, and skunk warning holds up, Chicago is going to be hit with some hellacious weather in a few months. 

After paying almost eight hundred dollars for a turbo-charged, dual carb, hemi snow thrower that I used exactly once last winter, I'm not feeling too bad about a chance to put that baby to work again. So bring it on.

Maybe I can find the picture I took of my neighbor's fence after one pass down my driveway with that monster machine.

The fancy fence they put up within ten minutes of moving in.

The fence that's six inches higher than code. 

The fence that almost got installed in the middle of my garden except for an accident of fate that found me at home, so I could come running out my back door screaming at the migrant worker, "No, no, no, that's my property you're digging that hole in."

That fence. All covered with a two foot layer of snow graffiti. A nice touch if I say so myself.  

The bad news is that we may have to brace for some heavy duty winter weather coming from Montana. The good news is that I'll have a chance to fling two more feet of snow up and down that fence again.

There's always a silver lining.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

The coyotes always know. I feel your drought, and raise you a rabid carnivore. The worst drought on record had to be followed by the worst winter, don't you think? When Bozeman gets the earthquake, just keep it to yourself.

Anonymous said...

Trickle down effect says we get your weather a day later. Last winter was awful, I was hoping for something a little more gentle this year. Like not double the average snowfall again?

xoxo

Anonymous said...

Good grief, Mrs. L
I hope you went out to that fence with your tape measure under the cover of darkness, LOL!  I mean, the nerve.  Six inches!  Harumph!  Oh, and they waited a whole ten minutes before putting up that fence?  I wonder why they waited?  LOL!  This should be an interesting snow piled fence of a winter for y'all.  Now, about that snow blower with a Hemi.  We don't have any snow down here, but a Hemi?  Where can I get one? LOL!
Sam

Anonymous said...

I tell my Internet friends in Virginia what sort of weather I'm having, and that's the weather they have in a day or two.  

Anonymous said...

Fences make good neighbors, eh?  Maybe a better idea would be fencing with your neighbors.....en guard!  

That's some snow blower you've got.  My sister bought my two boys a couple of snowboards last year which of course ensured that we did not get one snow that stuck to the ground.

Have a great day!  

Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/MyJournalJarSaturdaySixetcanswer

Anonymous said...

can I come and drive your snowblower????? I LOVE machinery and Virginia won't buy me a bulldozer:(
judi

Anonymous said...

Hey, did you just call me 'Pappy?' Meet me at the old sawmill, and we'll settle this, once and for all, Ma L.

Anonymous said...

Now to our weather prognosticators,  Pepe Le Pew and Wile E. Coyote...

Anonymous said...

Remo's Plan B sounds alot like your friend's set-up, except mine involves 35 acres surrounded by a moat, a chrome stripper pole, and a 16-passenger short bus. I'm trying to get Ms. Lovely signed up for her Commercial Driver's license as we speak.

Our coyotes don't talk about the weather much, unless you count the temperature at the border fence where they all cross on Tuesday's.

It's just like a woman to make a big deal over six inches.

Anonymous said...

I think I 'll take hurricanes over snow
Marti

Anonymous said...

I like the way you see opportunity in everything and find humor in otherwise uncomfortable situations. Wish I have your pluck...

Anonymous said...

HA! The picture!!! Love it. judi

Anonymous said...

Welcome to MY world ! Glasgow + winter = september to may hehe

Anonymous said...

Like Dcmeyer, I enjoy reading your journal because you have a knack for finding humor in just about everything.  More importantly, you make me question things that I wouldn't normally consider (i.e., The Meaning Of Marriage).  LOL, I've been analyzing that entry for days!
Thanks for making a cloudy head come back down to Earth (no matter how resistant I  may at first be!)
Blu

Anonymous said...

I have to admire you hardy Americans, the UK tends to grind to a slippery skid if we have so much as a heavy frost!
Tillyx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/tillysweetchops/Adventuresofadesperatelyfathouse

Anonymous said...

Anyone beside me notice that the picture in this entry keeps changing?  When I first commented, there was no picture, then a small version of this appeared and now it's getting bigger.  BTW, it's a nice picture and I can see from the way the fence is constructed you did not need a tape measure to see the illegal six inches, LOL!
Sam

Anonymous said...

What a treat, a winter wonderland . . .   I said that just like Lawrence Welk to myself before hitting the keyboard . . .

Gotta cut back on the muscle relaxers!