Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Mrs. Linklater's Rules for a Long and Happy Life

Sorry. I can't write about that. I'm laughing too damn hard. Like I would know about happy.

But since you're here and I've got this space to fill up, help me come up with a theme or themes for this journal. Mrs. Linklater hasn't been much of a guide to anyone's universe lately. I haven't even felt like making fun of the advice ladies over at my Ask Mrs. Linklater Blogspot blog. And that one actually has a theme.

A perusal of my recent entries here reveals an entirely too eclectic smattering of stuff. Coming here is like opening up the hatchback of my Jeep and having a full size folding chair, a spare tire cover, two rugs, four rolls of toilet paper, three plastic sweater boxes full of mail, and a bungee cord fall out. I feel your pain.

Those of you who show up one day thinking you've discovered a lunatic and come back just to see if I've been committed are sorely disappointed to find a recipe for fudge instead. That's just an example. I would never share my fudge recipe.

So help me with a theme. Or themes. Something I can write about for more than one entry. The Duke rants are an example, but I'm only writing about their lacrosse team because I went there. Otherwise I could care. I need fuel to fire up my anger and I'm running out of steam on that one. Did you see two of the players got arrested today.  And they're looking for a third guy. Just remember an indictment is not a conviction.

Jeff over at What the Hell? once asked everyone to submit words he could use as subjects for his entries. I sent him a bunch. But he hasn't posted an entry since last year, so that may not be such a good idea.

I would write about my daughters, but one of them has asked me to include her out. She's worried that people might put two and two together and realize I'm her mom. Nothing personal, but I could do some serious damage to her career apparently. That whole live long enough to become an embarrasment to your children thing sure is working for me. 

My other daughter lives so far out of town that I have to recover from jet lag when I see her. So the day to day family thing is out.

All the animals I used to have are croaked. I know, bad grammar. Work with me here. Having no living, breathing, furry creatures right now doesn't mean I haven't mined the lives and deaths of my old pets for entries here and there.

My private life is like watching grass grow. Only slower. Plus talking about getting old gets pretty old. Not that I couldn't regale you with tales of my latest infirmities. And what you have to do to accommodate certain things. Not going there.

Looking around my computer area just now, I realize I could use this space to sell off some of my cherished memorabilia [okay JUNK] and make some money for a plane ticket to get out of Dodge.

For instance, the teal blue lava lamp with the yellow ploppy stuff that floats inside is just sitting on my desk. It was a gift from two guys I'm really close to. But I haven't turned it on in three years.  It's yours for $30 plus the postage. Hey, it has hardly any mileage.

Then there's my old Polaroid camera, an SX70, just like the one Michael Going, the famous Polaroid photographer, uses. I keep thinking I'm going to manipulate film like he does so it looks like art. Yours for a mere $15. Okay, $10. Plus the postage thing.

And the small framed oil painting of The Tetons with the Snake River flowing in the foreground which I bought in Jackson Hole to remind me of my favorite view in Wyoming. Yours for $50.  And postage blah blah blah. [NO LONGER AVAILABLE]

Anybody need a Trojan horse left over from my younger daughter's fifth grade art project on Greece?  I'm thinking I might be on to something. But I better take some pictures first. And don't tell me to lower my prices; this isn't a yard sale.



screaminremo303 said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one having difficulties with entries lately.

ksquester said...

A trojan yes...........a horse, ahhhh no!   I'll think about this and get back to you. Anne

ksquester said...

How about vacations you aways wanted to take, but haven't gotten around to yet?
10 things you want to do before you die.  Why do you like Chicago so much?  Funniest person you ever met? Ever want to met a fellow journaler?  Fudge recipe (slipped that one in there)  The most annoying person you have ever met.  Odd habbits you have.  What you fear the most. (You won't do that one, bet ya!)  When are you totally at peace with yourself?  What makes you tilt your head and go hmmmmmmm.  Wine or Whine?   Now that I have done this....I have a few ideas for me to journal about.  Sometimes I think I bore people and YET........ yep, I do!   Anne

psychfun said...

I like the ecclectic style! You never really know....which I think fits you! :-)

Hey...whatcha think about the Guilty Verdict of George Ryan?

emmapeeldallas said...

I never thought I'd agree with Remo, but...he's onto something here.  There are a LOT of us having difficulty writing stuff lately.  For what it's worth, I always enjoy reading your stuff, and I don't care if it's random.  I'm not a linear thinker (but you already knew that about me!)...



jevanslink said...

So this place should be Mrs. Linklater's Random Eclectic Guide to the Universe then.  Haaa.  Mrs. L

auntiemayme said...

I think you fill up space very well.  Just look at this entry.  I mean, who is original enough to talk about what they keep on their desk.  I know I wouldn't have the guts.  And all that stuff you apparently keep in your jeep......wow, who woulda known (or was that just an example of the possibilities).  Anyhow, themes might get boring.   And eventually, you would get off the theme anyhow and drift back to your old eclectic self.  Of course it would have been more cool if you would have actually given the fudge recipe out (since you mentioned it).  Oh well, then we would start expecting recipes and be disappointed then you didn't have any more.  Well, keep up the good/bad work.  At least it fills up space.

mombzbe said...

I was just thinking about Jeff's word thing just the other day, as I was racking my brain trying to think of something new to try. LOL
You're doing just fine, Mrs L.  Perhaps it's just the bit of Spring in the air that is clearing out your mental attic.  You'll be taking the advice ladies to task again in no time.  :)

Now, about that Trojan Horse...

bosoxblue6993w said...

why screw the pooch with thematic coherence?    one of the best things about this blog is not knowing exactly what we're going to get.

dafyddhevans said...

You know, arbour day is coming up.  I've missed more arbour days than I care to admit.  Would you like a new a kitty?  Cats are the new traditional gift on arbour day.  It used to be trees but te Department of Homeland Security outlawed them.

jevanslink said...

Thanks for the laugh l'il bro.  

onemoretina said...

   They always say to write about the things you know.  What's that supposed to mean?  If you didn't know it, you couldn't write about it.  Sorry .... I'm not much help, am I ?   Tina

salemslot9 said...

since the present isn't exciting you
at the moment
take a trip to the past
how about your past love life?

salemslot9 said...

by the way
I'm leaving for Las Vegas this Sunday
hope to visit the Grand Canyon
and the Hoover Dam, too
sounds like you need a vacation :)