Remember last Thursday? Or as I call it, Why Did You Decide To Fly Today Of All Days?
I got to the airport with my gel-free, lotionless carry-ons like a good little passenger [I did check another bag with my toothpaste, hair do stuff, even nail polish remover without so much as a strip search] only to discover that my FLIGHT WAS CANCELLED!!!
Not to worry -- we'll put you on this next flight instead.
I smelled a rat. I made a bet with the guy sitting next me at the gate, before boarding, that we would leave the gate and drive to a tarmac somewhere and park. He laughed derisively and laid down a buck.
We got on the plane. We left the gate. We taxied to the edge of the runway. We continued to taxi past the runway. We taxied some more. We taxied and taxied and taxied. Then we stopped.
For FIVE HOURS. I collected on my bet. He laughed derisively again.
Then we took off finally. Everybody clapped. And we flew for a couple of more hours.
Then we circled for a little bit. Forty five minutes is a little bit in the larger scheme of this trip.
We finally landed in the middle of the night and sat waiting and waiting and waiting by the gate until the ground crew got out of bed to guide the plane to the jetway.
By this time nobody was clapping.