Friday, May 6, 2005

Mrs. Linklater Needs to Ask Mrs. Linklater

Usually Mrs. Linklater is all about taking the advice columnists to task. She is the Andrew Dice Clay of the Ann Landers set.  Some people have a calling. Mrs. L has a shouting match.

But now, strange as it may seem, Mrs. L finds herself in a pickle. In fact, she's pretty deep into the jar. Here is her tale of woe:

As Mrs. Linklater has aged, not doing anything on the weekends has become her idea of a good time. She prefers doing nothing that requires planning or more than three minutes in the microwave. She hates to have to think about what she's going to do when it means getting tickets for something, putting on clean clothes, driving, that kind of stuff.

For instance, this weekend she had hoped to do the Weekend Assignment and the Saturday Six at her leisure, say sometime Friday night for the first one and sometime Saturday for the Six.  But no, she is supposed to go out and HAVE FUN with FRIENDS who came to town and want to see HER.  Yes, she loves them.  And she loves to spend time with them. That's not the point.

There's a wonderful dinner tonight.  A chance to see a ballgame tomorrow.  Theater tomorrow night.  Let's not even talk about all the Mother's Day crap. Sorry Mrs. Linklater just allowed a moment of unrestrained cynicism to overtake her. As much as she loves her stepmother, her beloved biological mother is dead. And her wonderful children are across the country or across the pond. So she's not with the program much this year.  

Here's the guts of the problem. Turns out a another friend's daughter is getting married Saturday. This is a friend for life.  And Mrs. Linklater has known the daughter since she came home from the hospital.  In fact, the little blue baby blanket Mrs. L never finished is up on the shelf of her closet still. The ceremony is planned for just after the game ends.  And the reception will be held while Mrs. L is supposed to be with her other friends at the theater.

Unfortunately, the invitiation Mrs. L was supposed to get never showed up. And she just found out about the nuptials, which are a three hour drive away. The conversation went something like, "Hey, you coming or not?" 

Not only did she not get the invitation, the bride's family will not be well represented and since Mrs. L is considered family -- well, you get the picture.

There's no possible way she can do both. That means she gets to feel guilty about whatever she misses. And that pretty much just sucks.

So not only does Mrs. Linklater have plans for the weekend, but it turns out she should have had other plans for the weekend.  When all she wanted to do is have no plans at all. 


robbush6 said...

Unrestrained moments of cynicism are by far the best. Keep 'em coming. Polar fleece and microwave dinners. <<reaching for rusty razor blades now>> Inside my head the screaming begins, "Is this all there is?" Maybe it's more of a wail. A whine? The unfinished baby blanket seems to be the answer. I hate all that ticket-buying and planning. Just get in the car and go. Maybe the bride to be would like to see that blanket-in-progress after all these years. During the reception, I think it'd be fun if you wrestled the microphone away from the best man and told stories about the baby girl you loved like a daughter when she was no more than a minute. (Pinch cheek for effectiveness here.)

mutualaide said...

Throw the guilt out the window with the bath water...that little baby needs you...and you want to be there!  

jevanslink said...

Well, that baby is now 30 something.  And so is the blanket I never finished.  Mrs. L

thisismary said...

Three hours away -- in what direction?  Sigh -- doesn't matter does it? Family obligation.  Think of it this way, a wedding is very much like theater, so you won't be missing that. If the caterer screws-up there will be yelling and waving of arms, very much like a ball game.  Depending upon the family involved and the quality of the bar, there is a very good chance that someone can be convinced to sing "take me out to the ball game" (and odds are they will be drunk when they do that, so...) <-- unless you were going to a sox game, then nevermind.  If that person singing turns out to be you -- I expect to see photos in your journal. :-)

ann7inflorida said...

I like to stay home and do next to nothing on the weekends, too, so I can relate to how you feel.
Honestly, I say flip a coin. Either way you're going to have to be social when all you really want to do is kick back and enjoy some quiet time. Good luck with things. ~Ann

ksquester said...

That does it.....the way I see it is...."you ate some very bad oysters and aren't able to make any of your commitments," lest you be committed for doing all of them.  Good Luck. I hope we don't hear about "The Runnaway Mrs. L."(coming to a theater soon near you)   Anne

salemslot9 said...

You can always finish the blanket for their first born...I like dill pickles.

screaminremo303 said...

Hmmm. Turn off the phone. Don't answer the door. Close the drapes and get stinking drunk.

It works for me when I have traffic court.

judithheartsong said...

hmmmmm..... I would lean toward the wedding if you get to see the other friends at some point this weekend too. (Any chance you could get that baby blanket done in time? It would make an unusual gift!!!)
Oh, I don't envy you the decision....... judi

suzypwr said...

Stay home and finish the blanket.

somenuttychic said...

Uh oh.

gaboatman said...

It's Saturday night now and I know you opted for the wedding.  Mrs. L does not let lifelong friends down.  So, please, Mrs. L drive safely on your way home.

robbush6 said...

Well? What did she say? That other Mrs. Linklater, the advice columnist living in the other side of your brain? Did she like the blanket?

jevanslink said...

Mrs. Linklater was so disappointed in the blue blanket that's been sitting around half made in Mrs. L's closet all these years.  "You're a disgrace!" Pretty much sums up how she put it.  

Meanwhile, turns out Mrs. L didn't miss a wedding, she just missed a party, because the bride and groom got married in the Bahamas a couple of weeks ago.

When she explained her embarrassing dilemma to the mother of the bride, she was given a pass, since the kids were already married.  

Nothing a REALLY EXPENSIVE GIFT can't rectify. Or a nice one on one visit with the young couple at the end of the month can't undo.

Mrs. L