Stealth Customer Service

After posting the previous entry whining about my life in general and Micro Center service people in particular, someone from Micro Center's customer service department showed up with a message for me in my comments section. [If you want to see his comment, you can find it yourself.]

At least that's who "Albert" claimed to be.

He asked me to email him with some numbers from my first receipt or my return receipt and I sent him both. For some reason his familiarity with the array of numerals seemed to give him some customer service credibility.

I also asked him how he found my blog.

I got a reply on what amounted to Micro Cener email letterhead -- although it could be a Nigerian front for all I know.

Apparently MC's customer service gets alerts whenever there's a mention of their store on the internet.

I have had words sucked up by software alerts before. A couple of years ago I remember using the word "pussy," in an entry to refer to someone who was a big chicken. And a link to that word in my blog showed up on a porn site when I Googled my blog one day. I think I changed the word to "chicken."  Yeah, I know, "chicken" has its own cult following, but so far I haven't been included.

Meanwhile I told Albert that I would be sending in my angry customer reply survey that I spent half an hour filling out.  He said that sending it in would not be necessary. Rats, I really went to town on that thing.

Another part of me is so paranoid about what is true and what isn't true here in Internet Land that my exchange with Micro Center's alleged customer service department makes me wonder if Albert is really who he says he is. Or just an undercover MC sales associate working as an internet operative to prevent complaints from cranky customers from getting to headquarters.

On the other hand, I could just assume that Albert is real and my sad experience will become a teaching tool for the tool that waited on me. 

I wonder if tool boy will have to go back to remedial sales associate training school and a pass a written test to show that he has learned where the Apple Room is located in the store. It's probably a multiple choice test, not an essay, since that would require spelling skills.

The Apple Room is located in what part of the Micro Center store?
A. Over dere
B. Wait here, I'll ask someone
C. We don't sell no farking produce
D. Huh?

After the written portion, he'll probably have to take the road test too, first to prove that he can walk and talk at the same time. Then to demonstrate that he can use "G4 computer" correctly in a sentence. Next can he actually listen when an older female customer who isn't "hot" asks for a MAC keyboard? And finally, can he remember that it's nicer to greet someone who walks into the store with "Hi, Welcome to Micro Center," instead of continuing his conversation with that chick from repairs and returns that he'd like to bang.

I told Albert that, ironically, my experience with everyone else at the store, from the woman who took my money to the guy at the return desk to Albert himself, has been very pleasant. But, since it turns out there's an Apple Store not far from me and I've got a Best Buy in my town, I probably won't be coming back to Micro Center ever again.

Unless that gift card is really big.