The answer is: Whatever. The question is: Mrs. Linklater, do you think the neighbors buy your lame story about restoring a vintage car? There's a dead Audi in my driveway. For sometime now I've been trying to get a new title so I can legally have it removed. Okay I lost the title. Put it somewhere safe and it evaporated. Shut up. The first time I tried to get a duplicate title I was told the car didn't exist -- after paying the extra money to a currency exchange [stupid, stupid, stupid] to have it processed faster. So I took a picture of it [I'll upload one tomorrow] with a newspaper on the hood, like they do for hostage situations, to prove the car existed. Nice try. This time around I sent my money and my request for a new title downstate to the room where some woman is paid taxpayer money to search through all the old files. Nothing. They don't even answer the phone except to put you on hold. And nobody covers the phones from noon until one. Bureaucracy. I should mention that I went online to CARFAX and found the car. Couldn't they do the same thing or something? I'm thinking about hiring a chop shop to take it away piece by piece. Or sell it piece by piece. What the heck. Just have people come by and take what they need until it's all gone. Let me think about that.