Answer: Viggo Mortensen. Question: Who's on the cover of this month's issue of Cowboys and Indians?
Bet you didn't know there was a magazine called Cowboys and Indians did you? Mrs. Linklater may have the only copy in Illinois. Her good friend in Bozeman, Montana sent it to her because she knows how much Mrs. Linklater likes Viggo Mortensen. He's on the cover promoting his movie, Hidalgo, which is a totally tarted up story about the adventures of a real American cowboy in Arabia. Blah blah blah. There are a number of pages with pictures of him inside. Oh, yay!! The article about him is totally lame, but who cares?
So what's with Viggo Mortensen? Geez, only a guy would ask that question. Women know. Mrs. Linklater decided that Viggo Mortensen was way cool when she saw him for the first time in Witness. Wow -- who is that guy? He was playing Alexander Gudonov's little brother. [Alexander Gudonov -- there's a story. He was the famous Russian ballet dancer who came to the USA and hooked up with Jackie Bissett -- you go girl -- but then he went and died from too much whatever it was and totally messed up his career.]
Anyway Mrs. Linklater was so busy watching Harrison Ford being Harrison Ford in Witness [he didn't fool anybody with that Amish disguise] that she forgot about Viggo Mortensen UNTIL he began showing up in other movies. One movie in particular forever sealed her undying devotion -- A Walk on the Moon. With Diane Lane. OMG!! She even bought a VHS copy and watches it once a week no matter what. [Okay, once a month when she gets busy]. When the VHS wears out she'll spring for the DVD.
In fact, the only reason Mrs. Linklater went to see any of the agonizingly long Lord of the Ring movies was to see Viggo Mortensen. She asked the guy next to her to wake her up everytime he was on screen. She noticed there were other women over forty in the theater. They were no doubt pretending they loved the story or the extraordinary special effects. Yeah, women are into special effects -- like guys are into sachet and vanilla candles. Come on, if you saw a mom or grandma in the theater at all, she wasn't there to supervise the kids, she was there for VIGGO!!! And thanking her lucky stars she had something entertaining to watch.
In an earlier journal entry, when she must have been in a coma, Mrs. Linklater listed Harrison Ford as her number two favorite celebrity crush. Josh Hartnett was first. And she even gave a nod to Russell Crowe in his gladiator outfit.. What was she thinking? Viggo Mortensen is a poet, a painter, a photographer AND and great actor. Sure Harrison Ford can fly a helicopter -- that counts big time. Russell Crowe is, well, Russell Crowe. But what about their feminine sides? Exactly. As for Josh Harnett -- hurry up, Josh, it's time to step up to the plate and prove you're not just another pretty face. It seems like Mrs. Linklater getting a little worked up here. About people who don't know she exists.
She needs to sit down for a moment and think about getting a life. Or think about the restraining order that's gonna be slapped on her.