Wednesday, July 20, 2005

White Guy In Suit With Bald Spot Nominated for Supreme Court

A new minority has emerged in the search for a nominee to replace retiring justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

John G. Roberts was introduced to America last night by the president in a shameless attempt to appeal to an emerging minority, the white guy with a circular bald spot on the back of his head.

Roberts' white guy credentials go way back to his childhood in Indiana, where he lived with his white family in a white neighborhood in a whitebread town in the predominantly white state, where, in the interest of full disclosure, white guys in hoods got their start.

A graduate of the whitest of the white schools in America, Harvard College, Roberts continued his white ways by graduating from Harvard Law School too.  His minority status was only recently confirmed when a camera got a good shot of the back of his head during last night's introduction ceremonies.

"It's about the size of an English muffin," said one observer, who asked to remain anonymous for reasons of personal security.  "It's not like he's trying to hide it, you know," said his former high school health teacher who remembers Roberts as a "good kid, even though he came from a white neighborhood."

Much has been made about Roberts marrying a white woman, but that should not have any effect on his confirmation hearings. On the other hand, his noticeable bald spot will no doubt galvanize both sides of the aisle.

Meanwhile, in a move that can only be described as completely wacked, the defense attorneys for the hot 24 year old teacher who is on trial for having sex with one of her teenaged students argued that she is "too sexy" to go to prison. The trial judge, in an unexpected move, said "Awwww, shit happens, doesn't it?" before adjourning for the day.

16 comments:

all3lja32pb said...

Well Mrs. L I must say I am ROFLMAO! and Thank You I needed a good laugh if you saw the people that I live wtih (I call them my family) you would understand why.. Now I was here the other day and did not leave a comment becuz well I had to leave really quick becuz in the fit of laughter I realized I was late in going to the bus stop to retrived the child that I lovingly shoved onto the bus that morining.. So I did'nt have time to comment sorry.. But just wanted to stop by today and laugh I mean read some more. I can see why you were picked as Guest Editor and have also made plans to vist the recommended reading you have provided. Howeva that will take awhile since between the hubby kid and cats my hands get pretty full.. LOL

PS I wanted to leave a link to my journal for you howeva I am new to cyberland and have not figured out how to do so yet.. I can give you the name of it and wish you the best of luck finding it though.. It's called I'm bored what's your excuse? Okay that's all I think

robbush6 said...

English muffin? Lord, have mercy. Think who he could have become had it, the bald spot, only been the size of say, a mini-bagel or perhaps a Melba toast.

(I'm sure he only went to Harvard Law on a full-ride White Boy scholarship. He's a Hoosier who probably doesn't KNOW anything.)

bosoxblue6993w said...

spend a few hours watching C-SPAN.    it's nothing BUT balding white guys in suits!

cbsilverfox8 said...

like your thoughts..cant wait to read more.

judithheartsong said...

quelle surprised he did not nominate a woman......... NOT. judi

kristeenaelise said...

Someone should explain to me why everyone's acting so surprised about the Roberts nomination.  He's an upper class conservative white male.  I agree with Judi - Duh?  What'd we expect?  

Yanno, both of us are also too sexy to go to prison.  Just sayin'.

=) kris

cubsandcoffee said...

I thought all would be happy in that President Bush nominated a MINORITY.  A white man with intelligence, character, and a good upbringing who's  QUALIFIED is usually passed by on such an occasion as this.  The new minority indeed.  Bravo President Bush!
By the way Mrs. L, your journal is one of my favorites :-)

suzypwr said...

Do they have white kids, too?

Re the teacher - LMAO!!

xoxo

belfastcowboy75 said...

There are many more of them out there, inconspicuous because of Hair in a Can.

ksquester said...

This shiksa thinks a yammica could do wonders for the bald spot. Oh that paints it in an entirely different picture doesn't it?  ;-)   Anne

rkwfaimly said...

Gee, maybe he should sue his parents for having him white and sending him off to Harvard.  There is nothing worse in the world than being white (male or female these days) and educated.  

ber144 said...

You forgot to mention that he has two adopted white children.  Minorities everywhere rejoice!

artloner said...

LMAO

robbush6 said...

LOL at Cowboy.

Thanks to the marvels of Hair in a Can, educated white boys with male-pattern baldness fly just a smidge below the radar each and every day, their fervent hope: to blend. And a Supreme Court Justice appointment. Whatevah!

jacald5 said...

Minority?  What minority?  I say that bald-spotted white men are fast becoming the country's new MAJORITY!!

gaboatman said...

Growing up, this poor fella never realized he was white and well educated.  Heck he just found out he belonged to a minority class during the white House vetting process.  I do feel sorry for the poor clod.  Maybe America should give this guy a break.  We don't want to hurt his feelings, now, do we?  Hmmmm...
Sam