This afternoon I heard a cat meow. It sounded like it was under my bed. WTF? Since I no longer have cats, this was not something I wanted to hear.
Oh, shit, what are you doing in
here, I said, jumping up from my bed, where I was
resting, clothing free, in between meals on this warm day.
MEOW. There it was again.
How the hell did that feline get in
here? I checked all the windows to see if I'd inadvertently
opened one. All closed.
MEOW. Okay, that's it.
It occured to me that I should
probably put on some clothes in case the cat decided I was an obstacle
in its escape path and tried to climb over me claws first.
So I got dressed and started to
call out to the little creature. Well, "little" in comparison to
say, a jaguar, but for all I knew it was one of those thirty pound
I whistled and, as sweetly as I could, called out Here Kitty Kitty. Nothing.
Then I began to get worried.
There's no kitty litter anywhere in the house. What was it
using to relieve itself? And how long had it been in the house?
Had it been trapped in here for a long time? And only just now crying out because it was starving and too weak to move?
MEOW. It still sounded like
it was under the bed. I tried to look under there,but it was so
dark over in the corner where the bed was up against the wall, who
Okay, I was too chicken to press the
issue. Sticking my face down there to get a good look at a
strange, frightened animal didn't seem like the smartest thing to do.
Then the MEOWing stopped. I
thought, well, live and let live. If it wants out it can get out.
If it decided to leave any presents I'd deal with them later.
Four hours have passed since all the MEOWING started.
All of a sudden ten minutes ago, I heard MEOW one more time.
This time it was coming from my computer.
How did the cat get up on the desk and behind my flat screen monitor?
Then it MEOWed again.
When someone signed on. Oh.
It's not a real kitty. It's
an AOL MEOW kitty that makes a sound when someone logs on. Like
Gaboatman whose screenname blows a loud fog horn when he signs
on. And scares the poop out of me.
I am so blond sometimes.
But at least I won't have to clean up any furballs.