Thursday, July 21, 2005

Fifty Things

I did this once before, but everyone seems to be doing it again.  So, Mrs. Linklater does this mean you'd jump off a bridge if everyone was jumping off bridges?

1. I am not a natural blond.  No you can't see.

2. I have more nicknames than the average person. Olive Oyl and Big Bird are just two.

3. I love dill pickles sliced in quarters.  I hated them when I was pregnant.

4. I once told a doctor to "Get the F**K out" of the labor room.

5. My children think I'm zany. That's not necessarily a good thing

6. I've been in ads and commercials, sung at the Ravinia Festival, been a member of the Second City Touring Company in 1969 with Harold Ramis and Brian Doyle Murray, been on a horse roundup for my honeymoon, and driven around the track at Road America.

7. I owned a 1965 Mustang.  In 1965.

9. I can't believe I'm 61. With a couple of exceptions, it's as bad as I thought it would be.

10.  I thought I would be competing in national age group championships and the Senior Olympics in volleyball, platform tennis, and cycling. Maybe even bowling and badminton. But I won't be.

11.  I love anchovies on pizza. Little pieces, not big strips.  It doesn't take much, but you knew that.

12.  I invented and named Bananaramas.  It's a cookie. With Chiquita bananas in it.  They're shaped like a banana with chocolate on one side.

13.  I was in the room when two guys I worked with came up with the names Snausages and Pupperonis. Most people would just take credit for the name because they were there.

14.  My ex is considered one of the top litigators in the country.  But I have seen him naked.

15.  I know people who know people.

16.  Over the years I have been a commando magnet. This is not necessarily a good thing.  

17.  If you had told me a year and a half ago that I would make friends with people on the internet, I would have laughed in your face.

18.  I like long drives.

19.  I drive under the speed limit in the right lane. Except when I've got a fast car and especially if it's stick shift.  Then I drive at least ten miles over the speed limit. And over 100 mph on an open road with no other vehicles around.

20.  I love to fly.  I should have been a pilot.  

21.  I have flown in a glider over Aspen, Colorado.  And ridden a horse down Ruthie's Run, a black diamond ski trail.

22.  My sister was a stripper.  One of my brothers is bi polar, but he seems to be stuck on manic.

23.  I have adult nieces and nephews I have never met. Maybe just as well.

24.  I played the piano and the cello.  I sucked at the cello.  Loved the piano.  These days in order to play, I have to tape my fingers like I'm playing sports in order to keep my knuckles from locking.
25.  I cry at the opera.  I have cried at the symphony when Solti was conducting in Chicago.

26.  I love black gospel music. I would go to church if there were a black congregation with a good choir nearby.

27.  I sang in all the singing groups and performed in the school shows in high school and college.

28.  I wrote and performed in two winning homcoming skits at Duke, then transferred and won two May Sing competitions at Northwestern.

29.  At 16, I dived out of a boat into shallow water.  I came this close to breaking my neck and changing my life entirely.

30.  I was Miss Goosepimple of 1967 for Zonolite insulation.  I actually saw my picture on some of the insulation walking through a house under construction.

32.  My older daughter was in a communications class in college when the professor held up an ad of a perky housewife in a kitchen holding up a pie. He was using it as an example of some type of advertising.  My daughter announced to the class, "That's my mom."

33.  An old boyfriend has became one of the legendary writers for the Simpsons. He was funny when I knew him. But so am I.

34.  In case you have been on a spaceship, I prefer younger men.

35.  I was the Chicago Women's MVP at the 1984 Advertising World Series in San Diego.

36.  I have diagnosed acromegaly, Graves' disease, and conversion hysteria in people I know. I missed congestive heart failure in two others, both elite athletes with amyloidosis.

37.  I thought about going back to school to become a counselor or therapist of some sort.  Until I took a practice GRE for psychology and laughed and the irrelevant material required.

38.  I get you pretty fast.

39.  I am a White Sox fan in a Cubs town.

40.  After having two daughters I realized that men know exactly when a woman is PMS - ing.  And keep their mouths shut.

41.  I was a single working mom. I returned to work and raised my children alone from the time they were 7 and 4 1/2,

42.  I asked for the divorce. But people would come up to me to say I was much better looking than my ex's new girlfriend and I shouldn't feel bad.

43.  I am the only one of my girlfriends who isn't independently wealthy.

44.  I would rather be reading a book.  Something non fiction.

45.  I've had an abortion.  I was date raped at 34.  You figure it out.

46.  I wrote the NARAL slogan "It's pro choice.  Or no choice."

47.  I think the big reason equality for women has improved is because dads have gone to bat for their daughters.

48.  I'd really like to be a grandma, but some people I know are sure taking their time.

49.  Kids know I get them.  

50.  If I want to, I can make things happen. Free lattes for everyone!!!  


mosie1944 said...

You have just made my life seem exceedingly dull.  But that might not be a bad thing.

gaboatman said...

A very revealing glimpse into the life of one of my very favorite writers.  Thanks, this was interesting to read.  Oh, and thanks for the latte, too!

belfastcowboy75 said...

Cripes, you are an interesting woman. I tried doing this, but put myself to sleep by #3.

plittle said...

50, huh? Best you could do?

all3lja32pb said...

I think we have the same brother!

kristeenaelise said...

Dayum woman - you're 61?!?!  You do *not* look 61.  I hope I look that awesome when I'm your age.  I swear to gawd I thought 40-something.

My dad owned a cherry red 65 mustang in 1965, and gave it to my uncle, who promptly wrecked it.  My other uncle had the same model in green, and gave it to my cousin.  It still sits in his front yard, all abandoned and alone.  I have coveted that car since I was 13 years old.  Someday ....

You have led such an interesting life.  Much like your other commentor, I'd be lucky to come up with 5.  

=) kris

dimundntheruf69 said...

Very interesting journal....I am new here, BTW...Christie's the name...nice to meet you!..uhmm, what is acromegely?  and I would love a latte...thanks

memes121 said...

Friend, I love reading your journal every day. You make me laugh and you make me think. I am not to crazy about the thinking part because it takes way more energy than I have but what the heck. You have a very interesting life. Thank you for sharing!

jgrand1 said...

Dear Mrs. L.  Enjoyed your list, and I'll have a double fat chocolate caramel latte (since I'm not actually drinking it!).  Sorry to hear 61 is as "bad as you thought."  You don't "sound" like 61!  I, too, prefer to read non-fiction books, which are rapidly proliferating on my nightstand!  My God,you broke your neck at 16?  What happened?
P.S.  I have added your wonderfully daffy column to my "journals" link!
Best, Jeanne

suzypwr said...

I think I did this a long time have had a very interesting life. I hope it continues to be so.


yankeygr said...

I dont mean to be disrespectful, but I have just been following you for a short time and I just cant seem to figure out if your for real or not! Are you?  Rhonda

jevanslink said...

Rhona Rhonda Rhonda -- the contraction of YOU ARE is YOU'RE not YOUR.

For real.    Mrs. L

swibirun said...

Mrs. L you never fail to entertain.  This was an excellent list!  I bet that you would be a great dinner party guest!


salemslot9 said...

She's for real folks
I'd like to delete some negative events from my life
so it wouldn't be so interesting

spunkyxmasangel said...

When my mom was in labor with me she grabbed the nurse by the hair and said,"B*tch,you're hurting me." and someone should clue the men in my life into number 40. -Dawn-

ann7inflorida said...

You are a delight! #14 ROFL

robbush6 said...

Miss Goosepimple? May I have your autograph? You can sign it in my well worn Joy of Cooking, the Bible of Cooking. I know people who know people who know people. Does that mean we'll never meet?

shaz19743 said...

50 things ......FIFTY !!!!! I gotta start getting out more half way to being here as long as you have and cant even come up with 10 things half as interesting . So much done and been that im reading and thinking heres a woman who should be on the national curriculum under "life -how to live it to the full and then some "
Respect ......and then some x

mombzbe said...

Nicely done, Mrs L.  Or should we go with Miss Goosepimple?
I'd love a latte~

judithheartsong said...

My dad always called me olive oyl........................... and number 14 almost made me fall on the floor laughing.
Thanks for my morning chuckle:):):) judi

somenuttychic said...


About #33: Yes, you are. About #38: Yes, you do. About #45. :-(

I usually don't read long lists like this. I'm glad I did this time.

P.S. About #43: I can get you started. Since you expressed interest, all you need is a pair of rubber gloves, nose plugs, my trash can and you're in! ;-)

lamove04 said...

Fascinating... as always.  Go ahead, take credit for "Snausages"--it's a winner.

lacaza3 said...

what an amazing life you have led...Yeah getting older can suck in some ways...since I have hit my forties things are a dropping and a enjoy your journal
Donna In TEXAS

purcellneil said...

Thanks for number 47.  

Real men stand up for their sisters too.  And for anybody's daughter, sister, or mother.

I think you're right about men, but I think women had to stand up for themselves first.  To our credit, we seem largely to have responded positively.