Sunday, June 20, 2004

Patrick's Saturday Six

Jeffcomedy: What's your favorite way to relax?

On a clear, quiet night, there's nothing like lying outside in my hammock looking at the stars, with a fire blazing in the outdoor fireplace

2. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #4 from Annalisa135: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?  

Attending the Broadway opening for the stage adaptation of the Jeffcomedy and Annalisa135 love story.

3. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #5 from Ondinemonet: If you could sit between any two celebrities on a transatlantic flight, who would it be and why?

If I wanted to laugh it would be Izzy Izzard and Graham Norton.

If I wanted to talk, it would be Ellen DeGeneres and Diane Sawyer. 

If I wanted to listen it would be Oprah and Dr. Phil. 

If I wanted to eat it would be Emeril and Wolfgang Puck. 

If I wanted to make out it would be Josh Hartnett and Viggo Mortensen.

4. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #6 from LucylouladybugWhat are some of the occasional song lyrics or pieces of poetry that stream through your mind during the day?

What's funny is that this song is STILL being played on the radio

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day/I've got my girl in the month of May

My Girl -- the Temptations -- 1964

What is the funniest thing you've ever seen, read, heard of, done,..... whatever?

Story I:   A guy I worked with on a freelance project had been an exec v.p. of an ad agency.  Nice looking. Very GQ. Very rep tie and conservative. 

Until he told me he could make his face look like a camel.  I didn't believe him. So he changed his face right before my very eyes. It was so funny I couldn't stop laughing. But he wasn't done.

He told me that the year before he had decided he wanted his camel face on his driver's license. So when he went to renew it, he stood in line with his camel face in place, so the folks at the DMV would think that's what he really looked like. 

Because no one messes with the picture lady at the DMV.

"No!! You didn't really do that!"   "Oh, yes I did!!"

Keeping his cheeks slightly puffed, his tongue pushed up behind his upper lip and his lower lip turned down to capture that special camel likeness wasn't easy.  He had to stay that way for almost half an hour.

And I still didn't believe he had done it.

So he got out his driver's license to show me -- and there it was -- The Camel Face.  The transformation was total.  I still laugh at the visual.

Story II:  My girlfriend was constantly fixing me up and I was getting tired of it since I didn't need any help. Especially hers.

She invited me to a dinner party at her house to meet some of her "new friends" and I figured she was up to her old tricks.  So I sneaked into the back door of her house and hid in her sons' room where I could put on my "blind date killer" outfit. 

It consisted of fluffy pink slippers, an old plaid bathrobe over a flannel nightgown, my face covered in white goo, and my hair in huge rollers.

When everyone was settled in the living room having drinks, I went downstairs to make my entrance, standing in the doorway.

"Good evening," I said, posing like a model in my very special outfit. Everyone looked up and laughed.  My friend just stared at me. But the surprisingly goodlooking [for a change] guy leaning on the mantel of the fireplace never missed a beat. "Why, this must be my date! How nice to meet you!"

6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #8 from Olddog299: When you lost your virginity, was it a good or bad experience, overall?

Actually when I lost my virginity after saving it so carefully for so long [per my mother's instructions], I discovered I didn't have any virginity to lose -- probably lost it on an English saddle during my horse crazy years. So I was pretty much distracted by that more than anything.

1 comment:

cyberdancer1008 said...

Great answers--I wish I could have been so complete with #3.  Just wanted you to know, I do go back to Patrick's place and check out most of the links!