Friday, December 17, 2004

STUPID DRIVING TRICKS

Picture from Hometown

Mrs. Linklater was driving home from the city yesterday when she looked over and noticed the license plate on the car in the next lane.

My goodness she thought to herself. Actually, Mrs. Linklater said, HOLY S**T! because, despite her best efforts, she still swears.

There was a license plate with RAGNAR on it. For most of the world, this is of no consequence.  But you don't live on Mrs. Linklater's planet, which is inhabited by people with names right out of Star Trek. Her own last name is a notable example.

So it should come as no surprise that she reacted with some enthusiasm at seeing this unusual name on a license plate. Wow, does this mean there is someone else in the world with the same name as her east coast friend, the aforementioned, Ragnar? Of course, it might be an acronym for Really, Are Girls Now Also Refinancing? Or Randy Alligators Grip Nude Asses Readily.

Although, probably not. 

She also couldn't help but wonder -- was the appearance of this car, at this place and time, on this day and year, a cosmic intersection of a larger plan, overlapped with coincidence? Or just dumb freaking luck? [You must know by now that Mrs. Linklater didn't say "freaking."]

Ever the philosopher, she posited the notion that perhaps this was the day for Mrs. Linklater's karma to be yinged and yanged. Not to mention infused with some kind of circular Zen philosophy.  Like she had a clue.

As for her friend, Ragnar -- he lives in New Jersey. So it's not like she was looking at HIS car with the Illinois plates.  Besides he drives a Z-3. Yes, he's superficial enough to want girls to think he's hot stuff. [Mrs. Linklater was going to write Hot S**T, but she thought better of it].  

Regardless of his youthful lack of substance, Mrs. Linklater continues to think he has other redeeming qualities, not the least of which is his unusual name. Ragnar was also the name of a Viking Hootchie Mon back in Days of Yore, which, if she's not mistaken, took place in the middle ages. She also wonders if they called Ragnar the Viking "Rags," like his 21st century namesake.

Anyway, Mrs. Linklater decided she had to get a picture of the license plate for concrete proof of her sighting. People are so cynical these days.  They never take you at your word.  You have to PROVE it. Sheesh. 

Serendipitously, she almost always carries a digital camera in her car. So she started reaching around one handed and backwards into the rear seat to find it -- always keeping her eyes on the road, of course. Even though she was leaning pretty far back. Luckily the camera wasn't too far away, since she was driving around 55 mph.

With one hand on the steering wheel and her other on the camera, she moved into position to take the picture.  The first shot was too far away.  The second could have been good, but the truck behind her started honking which caused her to weave a bit, so the picture was blurred.

You can see by her final effort that Mrs. Linklater was able to sidle up to the other car in true NASCAR fashion, just off the left bumper, while she snapped away and got a great shot.

What you can't see is the near miss that took place, when she took her eyes off the road to check the result on the back of the camera.

Like any good photographer, she was just trying to make sure she could read the name RAGNAR on the license plate, when she noticed that she was no longer in her lane, but drifting into the other car's BUMPER.

Somehow, as if sensing danger, based on the look of terror Mrs. Linklater glimpsed, the other car pulled away. So this time there were no problems, unlike that other time she was putting on mascara at 65 mph.

But that's another story.

 

 

 

 

 

9 comments:

tdain2003 said...

Funny story as usual : )
What I don't believe is that you were able to go 55 mph in city traffic in Chicago... lol
Tracy

lwhitewave said...

That is one clear picture!  Okay, one MORE reason not to drive in Chicago-Mrs. L is on the roads!  lol

Turtle

jocko818 said...

Mrs. Linklater, your thoughts, insights, fertile mind, humor, wisdom, gifted prose
have been a wonderful addition to my life these past six months. I am in awe of the fantastic volume and substance of your entries, especially, the post Thanksgiving writings! What in the world was in your Turkey?? I have read all of the entries in your Journal, and have come to the conclusion that you are "a gifted writer"! I do hope that you  commit to a book some day, because I do think a book from you would be a best seller!  Thank you, Jocko    

belfastcowboy75 said...

Those lecherous Vikings...a certain Irishman remembers losing his innocence to a Norwegian strumpet named Ragnild at a surprisingly tender age. Those thirty seconds are indelibly etched on his brain.

cneinhorn said...

I just did this last week, captured a photo while driving over a bridge.....not the smartest things we do, but for the art, or the proof, sometimes necessary Mrs L....good work!  :-)

~JerseyGirl

lamove04 said...

Good photo, but we'd rather have Mrs. L. all in one piece, so be careful!  ;-)  Albert

judithheartsong said...

would love to know if Ragnar saw you snapping pictures....... geez, they could have accidently hit you while trying to dial troopers on their cell phone. So glad all ended well with our intrepid reporter!!! Have a wonderful holiday, my friend! judi

greyhoundloner03 said...

Was that the time you had to have the Maybelline (the scary pink and black kind) wand surgically removed from your left eye?


Love ya' bebe'

ahhliving said...

Mrs. Linklater follows in the footsteps of a journalism advisor of mine who hung out a helicopter as it flew over an erupting volcano just so he could get the best shots of the moment. Audacious! Mrs. L, simply audacious! Dalene of AHH at http://journals.aol.com/ahhliving/AHH