Cruise Company Cuts Ship In Half

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That's a headline on the AOL Main Page recently.

The cruise ship industry is booming apparently.  They claim they need more cabins. I guess that's for all the people who can't wait to experience symptoms of the Norwalk [Newark? Northrup?] virus firsthand. Not to mention the promise of getting hit by huge waves during storms or knocked overboard by some kid on a skateboard.  

So to make more room on board for people who don't read the news, they're coming up with creative ways to expand the fleet.  Not by building new ships because that would take too long.  But by ingeniously putting additions on the old ones.  Think Bob Villa does boats.

For instance, AARP's ship, the Constipation [you think I made that up don't you?[, has been selected for renovation and expansion. She's been a popular choice for the over fifty set since 1968. And now that baby boomers number more than eleventy two million, unofficially doubling the number reported last year, the need for more uncomfortable deck chairs and cramped third class rooms is higher than ever.

To speed up the expansion process navel architects made a daring suggestion -- let's just cut these babies in two, add some rooms, a few toilets, a coupla pools, a place to eat, some vending machines, throw some duct tape on it and we're good to go. It's that can-do-cheap spirit that makes the cruise industry so popular. "We can fly to the moon. So we can cut ships." [Yes, that's an actual quote.] Not as pithy as "Give me libery or give me death." But it makes the point.

As they say, whatever floats your boat.  But me, I'd rather jump out of an airplane. Feels much safer.