Remo and I tied for Most Outspoken. How did that happen? The uber cop and the whiner mom. To quote the Screamer himself -- WTF?
What is it they say about ties,
it's like kissing your sister? It's like the taste of steak and
potatoes after you've put it in a blender. It's cold pizza and warm
beer for breakfast. It sucks.
We ought to have something resembling sudden death to determine a winner when the vote is tied.
Since Remo and I are deadlocked for
Most Outspoken and he's a member of law enforcement, some kind of
weaponry would seem to be called for.
Of course, he has Kevlar so we would need a gun that leaves marks, instead of holes. Like paintball.
Kevlar can't stop bright yellow splats.
But he's a sharpshooter on the
range. And I've only won stuffed animals at amusement park shooting
galleries. So let's not use conventional weapons to shoot at each other.
Let's use water balloons to throw
at each other. Fill them with kindergarten paint -- the kind kids
use for those masterpieces we hang on our refrigerators. And let
the games begin.
The first one that gets paint on
the front and back of the other will be declared the winner. Loser buys lunch. And relinquishes any claim to Most Outspoken.
How would you break the tie? And it will be broken.
I bet you thought I'd be all thank you everyone for your support.
Okay. Okay. Thank you for your support. But I want to know
who didn't vote for me? Were you on the phone? The toilet?
The rag? What? You thought someone else would do your voting for
you? Sheesh. Do I have to do everything?