Sunday, November 6, 2005

Rage Against A Machine

I just got a 17-inch flat screen LCD TV for $325 dollars on sale. It's a Samsung. How many years have I been saying, why do we have to have these huge boxes for watching TV?  Hurry up and make a thin one that's small.  I didn't want to spend five grand on a industrial size wall model. But I knew they could do this. At least, I knew the Japanese could do it. What are we Americans doing lately?  Oh, yeah, iPods, right? So I can watch TV shows on a 1.5 inch screen. Thanks.

Anyway, I am now about to plug it in and start it up.

Except the power cord is one of the three or more that came packaged separately. Having a power cord that is permanently attached to the monitor is so 1999. With a convenient separate cord, I'm sure that some day I can convert the screen to a very heavy laptop computer, if I want to. Or use it for a door stop.

I got a look at the remote control. It's designed like something out of Star Wars. All silver and small. With teeny tiny buttons. I bet the instructions for use are written by Chewbacca. What instructions?

I discovered that the directions for putting my computer together with its multiple gadgets and extra attachments are on a disk that won't launch from my MAC. At least, i can't launch it.

But I'm calm. I'm collected. I'm handcuffed to my bed for safekeeping. Medication would help. I have assumed the zen position [TOS guidelines prevent a description of it], so I am not in the least bit concerned about the amount of time this is going to take to figure out.  

Actually, I am annoyed beyond measure at the stupid people who can't include written instructions for setting this TV up. But what am I going to do, complain to someone in India named Keith?  I mean Musachi?  

There must be alaw that instructions have to be on a CD that I won't be able to reference because it's incompatible with my computer.

Now that we've established what I'm up against, I think I'll just let the TV and its cords and stuff sit there by themselves for awhile. Let these wires and cables stew in their own juices, while I get some dinner. By the time I get back, they'll be ready to cooperate I'm sure.

Sometimes you have to treat electronics as badly as they treat you. Show em who's boss. Maybe I'll turn out the light in here too. Bet that will scare them.


ksquester said...

And may the force be with you Mrs. L.      Anne

meforevermore said...

lol Use the Deathray.


sdoscher458 said...

I'm scared to death to unhook anything...I have more wires running in places that I never knew I even had. Good luck to you...Sandi

suzypwr said...

Magic words, percussive maintenance, and good luck! Put your medical insurance card in a prominent location. Hm, maybe homeowner's policy too. Just in case.

swibirun said...

Handcuffed to the bed again, are we?  How many times I have warned you about picking up strange men?  ha ha


robbush6 said...

When I bought a home theatre system, for 50 bucks more I could download a video on how to set the thing up. For $100, Biff from Best Buy would come over after work and let me look at his ass crack while he did it. I did it the old fashioned way. I sent the kids to Grandma's for the day and read the instruction booklet. It worked great for three months. It was never the same once my teenage boy ripped out the monster cable and broke off the brass fittings while unplugging his X-Box.  

ally123130585918 said...

Mrs.L I bet you scared the living daylights out of that TV. fancy turning the lights out as well, now that was cruel....(Handcuffed to the bed !!!)  mmm now tell us what you were really up to ?

shaz19743 said...

Dont look in this direction for any electrical help !
Im still recovering from my recent laptop meltdown episode .
Me and ole sparky have a very tempestuous relationship .
I am scarred mentally and occasionaly physically (that eyebrow still grows in squinty ) from many mishaps over the years on trying to tame the power supplys of any and all electical goods !
All the advice i can offer is wear rubber soled shoes , DONT touch any wires and have 911 on speed dial x

judithheartsong said...

oh Mrs. L.....
I just got a sexy new phone and the instruction manual is about the size of a college textbook.
I have at least learned how to answer, make a call and hang up.... all the bells and whistles will come slowly. Hang in with that darn tv... my kids always used to handle all that stuff for me:):):) judi

bosoxblue6993w said...


monponsett said...

My camera treats me like a cruel pimp.

mombzbe said...

I hate anything that involves complicated instructions.  I just want to plug it in and go.   Why can't they just keep it simple?

Besides, everyone knows that the box it comes in is more fun to play with.

Zen position with handcuffs involved?  I had no idea you were so limber~

sunnyside46 said...

isn't it weird how all our electronics got so complex? Whatever happened to plugging it in and turning it on?