Mrs. Linklater Googled "Strange News" and discovered this fascinating AP story on the ABC website.
Woman carrying $47K in bra at airport sues
June 23, 2005 (BOSTON) — A Quincy
woman who apparently stuffed $46,950 in cash in her bra before trying
to board a plane to Texas for plastic surgery has sued a federal
agency, demanding the return of her money.
MRS LINKLATER JUST STUFFED TWENTY-TWO DOLLARS IN HER BRA AND HAD TO MAKE CHANGE.
The money was seized from Ileana
Valdez, 26, after a security check at a metal detector at Logan
International Airport on Feb. 3.
WAIT JUST A DOUBLE D MINUTE!! HOW DID THE METAL DETECTOR DETECT PAPER MONEY? OR WAS SHE CARRYING THE 47K IN COINS?
Valdez told authorities she was heading to Texas for plastic surgery on her buttocks and breasts.
MRS. LINKLATER'S HEART GOES OUT TO TWENTY-SOMETHING WOMEN WHO HAVE TO GO TO TEXAS FOR ANYTHING IN THIS HEAT.
"I don't know why she was carrying
it (the cash) in her bra," said Boston lawyer Tony V. Blaize, who filed
the suit Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Boston on behalf of
ONLY BUSTING OUT LAUGHING A COUPLE OF TIMES.
In her suit, Valdez said a male
Drug Enforcement Administration agent told her she had a nice body and
didn't need surgery and then seized the cash, claiming it was drug
THAT ONE SENTENCE PRETTY MUCH COVERS THE ENTIRE HANDBOOK ON SEXISM, SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, AND ETHNIC PROFILING.
Valdez, a single mother, saidin
hersuit that she has no criminal record and earned the money by
selling her Dorchester business and two parcels of property in Boston's
Jamaica Plain section.
CAN A GIRL GET A BREAK HERE?
Anthony Pettigrew, a spokesman for the DEA in Boston, said he could not comment on the lawsuit.
WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.
But he said federal asset forfeiture laws allow agents to seize suspected drug profits
AND FEEL UP CERTAIN FEMALE PASSENGERS OF THE LATIN PERSUASION TO SEE IF THEY ARE CARRYING LARGE SUMS OF CASH.
Personally, Mrs. L feels that any
woman who can stash the gross national product of a small nation in her
bra ought to be singled out for an award.
AND NOW FOR HER HARDHITTING QUESTION: WTF?