Saturday, June 25, 2005

Mrs. Linklater Asks the Hard Questions

Mrs. Linklater Googled "Strange News" and discovered this fascinating AP story on the ABC website.


Woman carrying $47K in bra at airport sues


June 23, 2005 (BOSTON) — A Quincy woman who apparently stuffed $46,950 in cash in her bra before trying to board a plane to Texas for plastic surgery has sued a federal agency, demanding the return of her money.

MRS LINKLATER JUST STUFFED TWENTY-TWO DOLLARS IN HER BRA AND HAD TO MAKE CHANGE.


The money was seized from Ileana Valdez, 26, after a security check at a metal detector at Logan International Airport on Feb. 3.

WAIT JUST A DOUBLE D MINUTE!! HOW DID THE METAL DETECTOR DETECT PAPER MONEY? OR WAS SHE CARRYING THE 47K IN COINS?  


Valdez told authorities she was heading to Texas for plastic surgery on her buttocks and breasts. 

MRS. LINKLATER'S HEART GOES OUT TO TWENTY-SOMETHING WOMEN WHO HAVE TO GO TO TEXAS FOR ANYTHING IN THIS HEAT.


"I don't know why she was carrying it (the cash) in her bra," said Boston lawyer Tony V. Blaize, who filed the suit Wednesday in U.S. District Court in Boston on behalf of Valdez.

ONLY BUSTING OUT LAUGHING A COUPLE OF TIMES.


In her suit, Valdez said a male Drug Enforcement Administration agent told her she had a nice body and didn't need surgery and then seized the cash, claiming it was drug money.

THAT ONE SENTENCE PRETTY MUCH COVERS THE ENTIRE HANDBOOK ON SEXISM, SEXUAL MISCONDUCT, AND ETHNIC PROFILING.


Valdez, a single mother, saidin hersuit that she has no criminal record and earned the money by selling her Dorchester business and two parcels of property in Boston's Jamaica Plain section.

CAN A GIRL GET A BREAK HERE?


Anthony Pettigrew, a spokesman for the DEA in Boston, said he could not comment on the lawsuit.

WITH A STRAIGHT FACE.

But he said federal asset forfeiture laws allow agents to seize suspected drug profits

AND FEEL UP CERTAIN FEMALE PASSENGERS OF THE LATIN PERSUASION TO SEE IF THEY ARE CARRYING LARGE SUMS OF CASH.


Personally, Mrs. L feels that any woman who can stash the gross national product of a small nation in her bra ought to be singled out for an award.

AND NOW FOR HER HARDHITTING QUESTION:  WTF?

9 comments:

dcmeyer420 said...

Hahahahahaha! Mrs. L, you crack me up!  

suzypwr said...

I saw that article, too - it made me laugh. I was wondering - why couldn't she get a cashier's check?? Something fishy - hiding all that cash. But if it's her cash, who gives a s***?

xoxo

shaz19743 said...

Have the strange feeling that if this had been a white male business suited passenger with $40000 notes shoved down his y fronts for a penis extention op they might have just waved him right on through ....hehe.....if i had that kind of money i wouldnt care what my body looked like id be to busy having fun to notice x

swmpgrly said...

maybe she should have stuck it in her thong

swibirun said...

Ms. L, will you edit all my news clippings from now on?  They're much more interesting after you've "had your way" with them!  You're like the Jon Stewart of written news, LOL.
Chris
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/Inanethoughtsandinsaneramblings
http://journals.aol.com/swibirun/MyJournalJarSaturdaySixetcanswer

belfastcowboy75 said...

Does Mrs. L realize that Quincy is home also to a certain Irish cowboy? And that another of his neighbors had an even more uncomfortablerun-in with the law?
http://www.seacoastonline.com/2000news/exeter/e8_18a.htm

jevanslink said...

Nice little town that Quincy.  Mrs. L

sunnyside46 said...

my mouth is hanging open in a most unbecoming way
Marti

gaboatman said...

Okay, okay.  Stop!  Laughing too hard.  Can't take any more! LOL!
Sam