Monday, July 25, 2005

Mrs. Linklater's Guide to Raising Adults

Mrs. Linklater thinks it's time to stop raising children. And start raising adults.
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So to help remove any six foot, one hundred and ninety pound children from their comfy seats at the parental trough, she makes the following suggestion:

This summer, drive that large body of evidence that you once had sex to the middle of a state somewhere. Make sure you're least one hundred miles from a city. You can even allow them to choose which state they'll be left in. Make it a magnanimous gesture.

Give them a roof over their heads at a local motel for one week. Allow them to have 100 dollars. And tell them not to come home for a year.

Yes they can call you, but not collect. When they ask the inevitable questions, the answer you always give them is NO.

Call it getting back to our roots, building character, learning what it means to be an American. Call it mean. Call it crazy. Mrs. Linklater likes to remind lazy ass young people, who want her to use her influence to get them a job, that this country was built on the courage of hundreds of thousands of people who arrived with nothing but the clothes on their backs. They probably walked ten miles to school in the snow barefoot, too. You ought to see the eyes of those kids glaze over when they hear that.

She feels that the milk of mom and dad's misguided kindness is making us a nation of freeloaders -- little kids in big people's bodies who aren't accountable and never take responsibility for their actions.

That's why she thinks there's nothing like having absolutely nothing -- no money, no car, no place to live -- to make you dig down and find out what it is you have that makes you a valuable person. Nothing gets to the point better than getting stuck in the middle of nowhere without a dime.  Okay a hundred bucks.  But how far does that go these days?

For purposes of clarification, Mrs. Linklater would invoke this get up, get out, and grow up rule for adult children still living at home jobless after six months, which is a blink of an eye these days.

She also realizes there are exceptions to this rule. And they should not include succumbing to whining and begging.

So, do your kids a favor. Let them find out what they're worth.  Let them put their high school and college degrees to the test.

While they're gone, make sure you turn their old rooms into something they won't recognize, an office, a studio, a mini gym or a family room. Nothing that they can come home to.

The bad news is that your kids will always want to come home again.


The good news is they won't feel the need to stay.After that year out in the wilderness, they will finally know how to be useful and productive grown ups.  Okay, they will still bring their laundry home on weekends to save on quarters. And raid the fridge while they're waiting for their stuff to dry. But now it's just temporary.  Not chronic. 






21 comments:

swmpgrly said...

You are too funny...lol

gaboatman said...

You can be such a tease, Mrs. L.
Sam

shaz19743 said...

Havent had my whistle whetted for quite some time ....but hey thats another story hehe x

mosie1944 said...

I don't mind you getting our attention, but how long is this going to take?

artloner said...

Why am I suddenly scared?  LMAOOOOOO


xoxoxoxo

suzypwr said...

I want the ice cream link first.

xoxo

belfastcowboy75 said...

We must discuss this in private.

robbush6 said...

Well? Out with it. My kids are getting older by the minute.

shaz19743 said...

My Whistle is drying up as i type.....need wisdom.....need Mrs L wit .....where .....is .....entry ....phuuuutttpaaahhhhpoop x

emmapeeldallas said...

This is GREAT advice.

Judi

robbush6 said...

My old neighbor insisted she wasn't raising a boy, she was raising a man. The poor kid never got to be seven.

gaboatman said...

I think this is a great idea and should be incorporated into some kind of national program of some kind.  The government could issue grants to those that could not afford the 100 dollars to give them as they hit the pavement, LOL!  Great insight in this entry, Mrs. L>

bosoxblue6993w said...

IT WOULD PROBABLY BE EASIER FOR YOU TO MOVE AWAY ... let the kids have the house, pay all the bills and buy the groceries ... while YOU establish a new life in some remote and inaccesible march of the Rebublic.    THAT'LL SHOW 'EM!

jgrand1 said...

Wow, you're one tough mom!  I don't have any adult childlren yet, although my 16-year-old is showing signs of being exceedingly comfy at home.  My 12 year old has already decided she wants the house!  I'll try to remember your advice!

meforevermore said...

Okay. I never find journals I like. Ever. I like them enough to fill my bored time with them and that's it. Yours could become a habit for me lol I read the "artsy essay" entry and loved it, so I came here to the home page and realized... I adore you lol This is probably the funniest journal I have EVER read. I'm SO coming back here lol

Oh and btw, I cannot agreeing more about grown up children. There's WAY too many of them and most need to be kicked into the wilderness for a year.

~Lily
This Drama I Call "Life"

http://journals.aol.com/meforevermore/SmokeMirrors

belfastcowboy75 said...

I get it, like a walkabout, only instead of the outback, it's working at The Outback. And what is with you and Robin and these hesitation-style entries?

judithheartsong said...

there you go. judi

shaz19743 said...

I couldnt wait to fly the nest .....the 100 dollars would have been a bonus ! x

cneinhorn said...

i was out at 18 and never looked back!

~  www.jerseygirljournal.com

screaminremo303 said...

Bring back the draft. Nothing keeps kids in college like the possibility of being sent to a foreign land with the possibility of becoming a POW.

memes121 said...

Yes! Finally, someone that thinks like me!