Wednesday, January 4, 2006
Is 49 the new 31?
AOL WELCOME SCREEN
AOL, along with an army of publicists and plastic surgeons, is trying to tell us these women are prime examples of the new middle age.
If that's the case, then feast your eyes on the Botox Generation. The best looking forty and fifty something females that money can buy.
Oprah's looks are a miracle of modern make up, hefty hair styling, a personal trainer and a private chef.
Demi has been augmented and cemented more than a new patio.
When was the last time you saw Madonna's face move?
The Nicollette Sheridan pictured here bears no resemblance to the Nicollette Sheridan of twenty years ago. No wonder she's starting to look like she's impersonating herself.
Sharon Stone sued someone who claimed she'd had work done. Earth to Sharon -- you've had work done.
And Christy Brinkley? If they pull your cheeks any higher you won't be able to see.
All but a couple of these women have spawned. They've expelled those large bowling balls called children from their bodies. A process not generally recommended in most beauty regimens.
As for ordinary women who think they, too, can recapture the flat abs of their youths after a litter of kids -- without surgical intervention, lipo, or a blind husband -- I've got some old Michael Bolton tapes for you.
Hey ladies, life's a bitch. Embrace it. At least, get real.