Thursday, February 23, 2006

Olympic Events That Should Have Medals

Best National Anthem: 
Russia -- the grandest and most majestic music of them all, full of emotion and patriotism, rousing enough to wake the czars

Second Best:
Germany -- if you can get past their WWII screw up

Italy -- it sounds like a song on Barney

Best Uniforms: 
Sorry, US uniforms are not eligible since they are made in Canada

Most Obnoxious Athletes: 
Let's see, uh, hmmm. . .I wonder

Biggest Flameout: 
Tie between Bode Miller who should probably have his own category and the hotdogging babe in the women's snowboard cross. I'd track down her name, but she isn't worth it.  Chad Hedrick is a close third.

Worst Nickname: 
Flying Tomato

Worst Uniforms: 
Any country competing in ice dancing

Worst Interview After Winning a Gold Medal:
Shani Davis doing his gangsta rapper imitation

Most Likely To Make The Box of Wheaties:

Female: The winner of the women's ice skating -- if the US wins
Male: The Flying Tomato or plain old Ted Ligity who quietly won a gold in the alpine combined, unlike some others

Least Likely:
Shani Davis, Chad Hedrick, Bode Miller, Michele Kwan, The Women's Hockey Team, The Men's Hockey Team

Best Up Close and Personal Profile:
Toby Dawson, the Korean orphan adopted by ski instructors in Vail

Most Gratuitous Racial Remark:
Bryant Gumbel -- "[The Olympics] look like a GOP convention"

Worst Winter Olympic Sport:

Any categories left out?


gaboatman said...

Mrs L.
How about MOST COMICAL OVERALL PERFORMANCE?  I'd go for The Italian Ice Dancing team of Poli-Fusar and What's his name.  The gushing elation after their first skate in their home country, the venum flowing between them after he dropped her in the semi-finals to the on camera make up/make out session after a good skate in the finals.  Ha!  Then they showed What's his name breaking down from all the emotional turmoil backstage when it was all over.  Not trying to be cruel here, but you asked, LOL!

ally123130585918 said...

Mrs L   CURLING   "YAWN"    I have watched cleaners mopping floors  give more entertainment.....Ally

sunnyside46 said...

I can not find anyone who can tell me what curling is!

psychfun said...

Did you see that Shani & the Joyners are suing Chicago for racial profiling?

ladeeoftheworld said...

I love curling!  Who made up that sport? LOL!

The Russian  National Anthem scares me.  It makes me think they are coming to get me.  

swibirun said...

I can't really comment.....I haven't watched them much:(  

The winter olympics just don't do it for me......except curling....curling rocks!  ha ha


bosoxblue6993w said...

as far as i can tell, curling is like shuffle-board in ice.     and what's with the brooms?

bluwave9 said...

I want to know who is in charge of the music selection for the Olympics.  I mean, what was with all the disco at the opening ceremony?  It reminded me of the summer games in Athens during the Women's Beach Volleyball and how they would play thirty seconds of an Eminem song and switch to playing something like Havah Nagilah.  

No wonder all the athletes have ipods.