Olympic Events That Should Have Medals

Best National Anthem: 
Russia -- the grandest and most majestic music of them all, full of emotion and patriotism, rousing enough to wake the czars

Second Best:
Germany -- if you can get past their WWII screw up

Silliest: 
Italy -- it sounds like a song on Barney

Best Uniforms: 
Sorry, US uniforms are not eligible since they are made in Canada

Most Obnoxious Athletes: 
Let's see, uh, hmmm. . .I wonder

Biggest Flameout: 
Tie between Bode Miller who should probably have his own category and the hotdogging babe in the women's snowboard cross. I'd track down her name, but she isn't worth it.  Chad Hedrick is a close third.

Worst Nickname: 
Flying Tomato

Worst Uniforms: 
Any country competing in ice dancing

Worst Interview After Winning a Gold Medal:
Shani Davis doing his gangsta rapper imitation

Most Likely To Make The Box of Wheaties:
Female: The winner of the women's ice skating -- if the US wins
Male: The Flying Tomato or plain old Ted Ligity who quietly won a gold in the alpine combined, unlike some others

Least Likely:
Shani Davis, Chad Hedrick, Bode Miller, Michele Kwan, The Women's Hockey Team, The Men's Hockey Team

Best Up Close and Personal Profile:
Toby Dawson, the Korean orphan adopted by ski instructors in Vail

Most Gratuitous Racial Remark:
Bryant Gumbel -- "[The Olympics] look like a GOP convention"

Worst Winter Olympic Sport:
Curling


Any categories left out?