Thursday, May 18, 2006

Oh, Lordy

Pat Robertson, who is not a meteorologist, but a certifiable, right wing religious nutcase, says he has been getting weather forecasts from The Almighty. What concerns me is that his predictions are being reported with a straight face by the print and broadcast media. 

On May 8th he announced, "If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will be lashed by storms." 

If he heard the Lord right?  Are God's woofers and tweeters not producing good sound these days?  Or did the reverend forget his medication?

He continued, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."

O-o-o-o-o-o-o, I'm scared. I'm also in the midwest.

Pat Robertson, by the way, is the same guy who said we should assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. He also thinks Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was struck down by a stroke as divine retribution because Israel pulled out of the Gaza Strip. 

And the reason the media is reporting Robertson's weather from God is because. . .?

Is this the network news' version of reality entertainment?

If they want dumbass predictions to fill a slow newsday, I have a boatload. But they aren't from God.  They're from falling asleep with the TV on.

Here's one: Americans will get even fatter. Except for Kirsty Alley.

Here's another:  The money you pay your HMO will not cover the medication or surgery for whatever it is you're sick with. But if you're between 55 and 85 you can buy funeral insurance for just pennies a day.

Here's another:  To fix Social Security, the government will let everyone over 65 move to FEMA trailers in New Orleans which have been decorated by Nate Berkus from the Oprah Show.

And another:  The estimated twelve million illiegal immigrants is really closer to forty million, but that new electric fence from Home Depot will keep dogs from crossing the river.

What's Pat Robertson got that I don't have?


gaboatman said...

Mrs. L
You mean there are people who still watch this guy?

mosie1944 said...

Amen sister.  Preach it.

bosoxblue6993w said...

The Lord sayeth unto the Progreesivite:  'Behold, partly cloudy skies with variable northwest winds 5 to 10 MPH'

mombzbe said...

Falling asleep in front of the tv is never a good idea.
It happened to me last night, and when I woke up, I was doing Windsor Pilates in my pjs and had some weird avocado mask on my face.

No wonder the dogs were whining in their crates.

salemslot9 said...

sometimes if you fall asleep with the tv on
whatever or whoever is on will infiltrate
into your dream...or nightmare
hopefully in your case it's Russel Crowe :)

elleme2 said...

As amusing as Rev Robertson is, you're way funnier, Mrs. l.

screaminremo303 said...

Pat Robertson has been struck by a few too many divine inspirations, if you ask me. I think he's been hitting the crack pipe. Of course, that's how the Mormons got started. Joseph Smith took a few good hits of Peyote and the rest is history.

dpoem said...

Pat Robertson was actually watching the Today show, and he mistook the voice of Al Roker for the voice of God.  It happens more than you'd think, actually.  


psychfun said...

LMAO! Do you watch Big Love? They had a thing on this with the character Nicki's dad "The Prophet" & her mom Adaleen says,

"We all spend like there's no tomorrow," Adaleen tells her daughter, "which we were told there wouldn't be on three occasions. But your father's revelations have been a little... off the mark lately, and we're still here. So, see, under the circumstances, it's excusable."

I believe she went into about 3 of them that never happened! HA!

Can you imagine if these predictions came true? Pat Robertson & the like should be quaking in their boots for what they have been doing! HA!