Tuesday, November 7, 2006

What will it take to get you to vote?

The first thing a lot of people ask when you want them to do something is "What's in it for me?" When it comes to voting the answer seems to be NOTHING. So they can't be bothered, since another popular argument is that someone else's vote will negate theirs.

As voting percentages slip into the low twenties and nobody has put forth any solution to the diminishing returns, why not put some good old fashioned American know how to work?


So I'm thinking we ought to pursue promoitonal incentives. Treat the elections like a carnival of discount events. 

Ask Starbuck's to offer free coffee to everyone who has proof that they voted.

McDonald's could offer voters fries and a Coke.


Dunkin Donuts could provide a small bag of donut holes.

Gas stations could give you the first gallon for free. Or a Slim Jim.

For lunch we could go to Subway or Quizno's.  Show that proof of purchase, I mean, proof of voting, and you're good for a six incher.  Sandwich.

Free drugs from Walgreen's.

Free Slurpees. Free Ben and Jerry's ice cream.

Ford could give away all the cars that nobody is buying.

Free parking for everyone.

A get out of jail free card for the day.

If you haven't voted in awhile, what would it take to get you to the polls?  Revoking your citizenship? Miss two times and you're on probation? Miss three and you're toast? 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Australia has a law that requires its citizens to vote.  In 1996 I was working in a Chicago neighborhood where I saw pamphlets warning people that they could be arrested if they tried to vote and had a current warrant out against them.  I also saw one that proclaimed that the election had been changed to a week later.  I'll leave you to guess which party was repsonsible for those...

Anonymous said...

Tax deduction.  Free booze, once the polls close, of course.

Or we could throw their lazy ignorant asses in the slammer.

~~ jennifer

Anonymous said...

a few years ago a local pol's people were picking seniors that didn't have transportation up with  the promise of a foot long hot dog & a cup of coffee at a popular ocean eatery  before taking them to the booth. it was a very successful endeavor. ~Mary

Anonymous said...

Revoke your citizenship?  Hmmm.  Good idea.  I voted.

Anonymous said...

Just come live in my building.  We are our own precinct.  I went down an elevator and voted in my pj's at 7 am.  and I complain THAT is not convenient enough.  Sheesh.

Anonymous said...

    Sadly, alot of people in this state ( Ca. ) don't vote because they are afraid of being called for jury duty ... the result of registering to vote.  Never mind that they are now using driver's license registration lists, too.  I dislike getting called for jury duty as much as the next guy, but would I give up my right to have a say in my government because of it ?  Not on your life.   Tina