When you're over sixty remind yourself not to have a milkshake after 9:00 PM, if you want to go to bed at 10:00. Lying down is like being in a blender that keeps serving another drink. I woke myself up with foam coming out of my nose. Yes, it was THAT attractive.
So, let's sit up for four or five hours until things settle down.
On Sunday I was invited to my friends' house for somebody's birthday party. I needed to buy a gift, but I also wanted to clean out my Jeep. Gift or car? Car or gift? Well, the car won, but I hit the mother lode going through my car.
I found a red plastic egg that had silly putty in it. How fun is that? And inside a bag of stuff that included a pen I had been looking for was a very nice gold colored replica clock that would look nice sitting on a bedside table if I had a bedside table. So I found a bag and started filling it up with found "gift" items.
There was a brand new bottle of mouthwash, never opened. And a sample size Tylenol that I meant to take with me to Dallas. I guess it had fallen out of its bag and rolled under the front seat. I found a trial size box of TIDE -- who doesn't have to do a load of wash?
I found an expensive coffee table book about horses still wrapped in Xmas paper. I had decided not to give it to the person I was going to give it to because I realized she was a jerk. And I was too cheap to send it to two other people I know who actually own horses. That book is heavy. At the same time, the book was so pricey I didn't just want to give it to anyone, so I didn't put it in the bag for the birthday party either. When I get tired of driving it around, I may just give it to myself.
I found a Hometics hand massager still in its container. Excellent. Someone had given it to me, so technically it was a re-gift. But it's not like I used it. I even found some seriously decomposed fruit, still in its plastic wrap. Ooops.
Hey, look my favorite paddle for platform tennis. I wondered where that was. I found a lot of CDs. I meant to put a couple into the bag, but I couldn't decide between Les Paul and His Friends and Brooks and Dunn's Greatest Hits. I also found a VHS of Gladiator AND the DVD. Nobody gets my Russell Crowe.
By the time I was done cleaning out the Jeep I had enough polar fleece to start a sporting goods store, enough quarters to start a laundromat, enough boxes of Kleenex to soak up an elephant's snot. And a bag full of goodies for the party. I even found a really fancy ribbon to make a bow for the top of the bag.
I got to the party and found out that there were three people celebrating not one. And they each got a ton of presents, so they didn't need mine. But there was a fourth person who was going to college in a couple of weeks, so I thought my bag o' gifts would be perfect for her.
Luckily, she did too. Especially that little box of Tide.