Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Somebody Make Me Laugh, Please

Ever have one of those days? When you know a little well-placed duct tape could go a long way to holding up your car's exhaust system, but the mechanic is all about fixing it right? So he can take $500 out of your pocket? 

Or your entire address list gets hi-jacked by a spammer and you keep hearing from people you totally forgot about, who start out their emails with, "Hey, Mrs. Linklater, how's it going, great to hear from you. I have my own business now and I'd love to do some work with you." What? Huh? And you know they're going to be just as pissed off as you are, since they don't know it yet, but they have accidentally hit the wrong button and sent all their email addresses to that asshead spammer, too. 

Ever have one of those days? When your town is featured on the TV weather report for having the most snow in the entire metro area [with more coming] and the only thing that's good about that news is knowing that D.C. is getting it worse than you?  [Just kidding l'il bro].  

Or you've run out of Zantac, but you still went ahead and ate some Boar's Head ham for dinner with that expensive matching sauce that burns holes in your gut, so now you have to find your keys, then bundle up like you're going out to recess in nursery school, brush the snow off the car for the third time, turn the defrost on high, even though it only blows cold air for the first two miles, all so you can get to Walgreen's for another box of pills, or else you will  have to sleep standing up. . .

You know, that kind of day? 

Well, here's how bad it got. I don't drink. Okay, maybe a sip of wine when I'm out with friends for dinner. And just a sip, because after the first one, it tastes like vinegar to me. I actually left my home in this terrible weather, yes, I went out AGAIN, and bought alcohol, some Bailey's.

And I drank a shot of it. Out of a French jelly glass. Maybe it was two shots. And I'm looking forward to MORE.

That's the kind of day it was. 


Donna said...

Bottoms up! Cheers!

Donna said...

Oh, and I see Chicago just got an earthquake. Isn't that special?

Remo said...

I have it on good authority that Baileys and root beer over ice cream make a delightful treat.

Nice quake.

Mrs. L said...

As close as it was, I didn't feel anything, but that explains why my computer started playing re-runs of CASTLE on in the middle of the night.

Baileys and root beer, huh?

EmcogNEATO! said...

I read "Zantac" but my mind processed "Xanax for the next few sentences.

Chris said...

At least your hips didn't freeze up overnight;)


Des's big daddy said...

When I have days like this, Walgreen's is out of whatever it is I go there for, and the glass I am drinking the Bailey's out of slips out of my hand and lands solidly on my foot. Good times.