Saturday, February 13, 2010

We Are The. . .Confused

I was watching the new 25th anniversary version of We Are The World and I realized there sure were a lot of people I didn't recognize. So I figured I'd just ask, even though it will soon become apparent that, despite my daily efforts to keep abreast of all things 18 to 24, I'm totally out of the hip-hop-pop loop. So here goes:
I know that's Randy Jackson on the left, but I confess I have no clue about the woman next to him. I thought for a second that one of the Kardashians got in by mistake. But then I was distracted by the Indian guy there in front. Who the heck is he? 
     And I am totally at a loss about who the blond babe in this next picture is -- I thought maybe Joss Stone at first, but what's she done to her hair? And she didn't sound all that Joss Stone-y to me. 
And what about the prepubescent kid who started it all off? Not a Jonas brother. A Jonas little brother? Or is that redundant?

Here's a whole bunch of other peeps I'm hardpressed to identify. Except for Josh Groban, who seems like he's been trying very hard lately to appear not gay. Who are these people?
Who's the extremely white bald guy in this next picture? I still didn't know who he was even after they identified him in one of the behind-the-scenes videos. Izaac something? Or was that his last name? Seriously, if I had to guess I would have said, Moby. 
It just gets worse. He was only on screen for a second, but even after I did a screen grab, the identity of this next singer still eludes me:
I saw the last two original Beach Boys in the choir, looking like prunes. Brian Wilson also looked like a good reason to get bariatric surgery. And Mike Love looked every minute of his 60+ years. 
     In a wide shot, I got a glimpse of Mr. Barbra Streisand hanging out on the sidelines, just in range. Nearby, on a riser, some guy who resembled Elvis Costello, but wasn't, held his toddler daughter while he sang. Did the nanny have the day off? Jennifer Hudson was in good voice. I thought Fergie held her own quite nicely with Celine Deon. 
     Pink was powerful. She can do no wrong after her VMA performance, when she was hanging from the ceiling like a Cirque de Soleil acrobat, while simultaneously singing and taking a shower.    
     Hanna Montana's got a nice set o' pipes. Janet Jackson, singing with her dead brother, provided an unexpectedly poignant moment for me, since I'm very cynical about all things Jackson, except for the kids. Meanwhile, Tony Bennett seemed way out of place. Like a singing maitre d' at an old school Italian ristorante. Check out the wallpaper in the background. Who dressed that set?
     I loved LLCoolJ, Snoop Dogg and Jamie Foxx rapping. No, I didn't know who the other rappers were. I looked for Vince Vaughan, anywhere. Never saw him. 
     Did you notice how the singers in the choir got moved around every time we cut back to them? Jeff Bridges started out in the middle and ended up in the back row. "Okay, people, let's break for lunch -- try to remember where you were standing." 
     I figured out who Wyclef Jean was. What's the deal with that guy? Not his voice, for sure. 
     I love this 25th anniversary version much more than the other one. Despite the unfortunate, weird, off key vibrato ending. I even shed a tear or two thinking about all those kids in Haiti. Then I donated a million dollars. Anonymously. 



EmcogNEATO! said...

I thought, "Oh good. I'll tell her who these people are and I'll feel hip and accomplished." But I got nuttin'. Could you pretend not to recognize Randy Jackson for me?

fdtate said...
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fdtate said...

I guess I'm getting too old to keep up too. The first time through, I only recognized Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band.

I knew who that woman in the second picture was but couldn't make the connection. After I looked at the artist list, I finally realized that she is the lead singer for Sugarland.

I think the Jonas brother-looking guy is Justin Bieber.

Mrs. L said...

Thank you!! I also found Vince Vaughn singing in the back row for a nano second.

Mrs. L said...

I checked out the bald white guy -- and it turns out the credits spelled his name wrong -- it's Isaac Slade not Issac Slade. Of course, I still didn't know him, but after checking out his music I see why he's pretty hot these days. The guy is GOOD. Really white, but talented.

Mrs. L said...
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Tiny Elvis said...

I know the guy in the last picture is the lead singer of Maroon 5. One of the singers in the second group photo is Faith Evans, who used to be married to the Notorious B.I.G. And that's as much as I can help.

And, as a Beach Boys enthusiast, but Mike Love disliker, I LOL'd at the comment about him looking super old. But be nice to Brian. He's had a hard-knock life, what with the LSD and dealing with Mike Love and such.

Anna said...

Okay, I have to admit I haven't listened to the new version. And I thought I'd be able to pick out the faces in the crowd you've pictured here and I know only a few.
But I can solve a mystery for you. The last guy in your photos is Adam Levine of Maroon Five. He sounds good on their cd's and nasal when they sing live, but I forgive him that because he is so good-looking.