Answer: Makeup Question: What gives a woman complete power over her universe? [Mrs. Linklater's universe isn't as large as some. Instead of revolving planets, she is more familiar with revolving doors.]
Mrs. Linklater -- okay, forget the third person, my name's too long. Let me start again -- Today, I had to dress up for a meeting downtown in the morning. That means pretending to be an adult. Which means dressing the part. Dressing the part means wearing clothes without college logos, shoes that don't leave treadmarks, stylin' my hair and taking a moment to draw a face on my face. Makeup.
Actually I'm one of those people who looks so much better with makeup that I've actually had requests to put some on. I have chosen to consider this a good thing. Me in warpaint is the look preferred by my legion of fans.
So I'm in full dress, looking damn fine for my meeting. And I'm even getting second looks when I stop at the White Hen on my way to the city. The folks there usually see me in sweats and flip flops with my hair in a scrunchy. And no make up. Today somebody actually held the door for me. Did I mention that I'm also on crutches? I prefer to think the door was held because of the power of makeup.
The counter lady did a doubletake, but didn't say anything. What could she say that wouldn't sound bad -- "Geez I almost didn't recognize you with make up on. And clothes. I mean, you know what I mean." I could read it on all their faces.
Same with the folks in the meeting. Some of them have only seen me in Polarfleece. And Merrills. Stares. They were mesmerized. I could have asked for anything today. The power of makeup. But I want to use my makeup for good, not evil.
After the meeting, I went to my healthclub to get a manicure, still in full regalia. Manicures are not an indulgence I've allowed myself very much in the past, but enough with the excuses. More stares. "You look so different." Uh-oh, hate to end this here, but I've got to meet someone for lunch -- and I'll report back on the power of my makeup.
She's baa-aaack. I'm not sure how much power my makeup generated at lunch. Probably about a six. Because, even though it had enough power to get me invited to a comedy show at Zanies and an Eagles' concert, I will be paying my own way. [This is the 21st century so get over it Mrs. Linklater.] Maybe better concealer and less light will get me an upgrade next time.