Answer: Say, "Bad Karma!!" And hit it with a newspaper. Question: What do you do when your Karma does something awful?
Mrs. Linklater has been away working. Whatever for? One might ask. Exactly her sentiments.
Part of being away working meant flying to Los Angeles. And then, flying back. It was the flying back that she feels compelled to share.
1. Arrive at LAX at noon for 1:38 PM flight
2. Curbside check in. Proceed to Gate 48B
3. Flight delayed to 2:25 PM -- Gate changed to 40
4. Flight delayed to 3:10 PM -- Gate changed to 46A then 42A
5. Flight cancelled
6. Re-schedule for 4:00 PM flight delayed to 5:10 PM -- Gate 46B
7. Flight delayed to 5:45 PM -- Gate changed to 46A
8. Land at 11:30 PM -- four hours late, not bad, considering, but. . .
9. Go to baggage claim
10. Wait for baggage
11. Wait for baggage
12. Wait for baggage
13. Surprise -- at 1:00 AM, someone finally realizes there is no baggage on that flight or the one after for anyone who was originally on the cancelled flight
14. Stand in line at the special desk for everybody who lost their luggage like the lady with the baby who has no diapers or crib or bottles now.
15. See a guy in line who looks like Bob Ewbanks of "The Newlywed Game."
16. It is Bob Ewbanks. His luggage is missing, too. We discuss options. We do not discuss The Newlywed Game.
17. Report luggage missing. "No, we do not know where it is. We do know it isn't here." Try to recall which suitcase contains the Hope Diamond. Because someone is going to pay. . .
18. Get 800 number to call in the morning to check on status of lost luggage which apparently never left LA. Probably taking a meeting with Spielberg.
18A. Leave airport without luggage at 2:00 AM. After spending 16 hours traveling.
18B. Get to house at 2:30 AM. Brush teeth with finger.
19. In the morning, call 800 number and talk to strange tele-robotic operator who seems to read minds. Really creepy.
20. Luggage has been located and will be delivered within the next 12 hours.
21. Leave note for delivery people. "Please leave luggage on front porch. Hide the one with the Hope Diamond so no one will take it."
22. Put on clothes worn the day before. Spray shirt pits with Right Guard. Go to meeting downtown.
23. Return home. Suitcases are on the front porch. The Hope Diamond is gone.
LA Airport resident alien center --