Sunday, January 9, 2005

BEFORE and AFTER

Picture from Hometown

BEFORE -- Jeep is stuck in snow, out of camera range

Picture from Hometown

AFTER -- whoever parked there right at the end of the driveway is a doofus

Mrs. Linklater used to pride herself on her driveway snow shoveling skills. Too cheap to buy a snowblower, she saw no reason to fork out the cash for something she might use once a year.  Besides she had a darn good shovel. 

All that money for two health clubs was finally put to work. Faster than a snowblower, she could heap piles of the white stuff higher than a tall building.  She once raced her neighbor to see who could finish first and she won.  Of course, the neighbor didn't realize there was a competition going on.

However over the past couple of years her working body parts have dwindled down to a precious few, so she usually just drives her Jeep over the snow a few times, throws some salt on the tracks and calls it a day.

Until this year, when it snowed nine inches overnight and the Jeep got stuck. The snow was deeper than it's been for a long time and, yes, she forgot to put it in 4-wheel drive the night before. 

Calls to the village, the high school, her friendly gas station, and a local snow blower store for names of people who plow were met with derision. Na-na-na-na-na-na. She was snowbound for two days.

Running out of food, she called a friend to see if he knew anybody.  And he did. 

Oh, thank goodness, what's the number, I'll call right away.  How soon can they come.  Are they in the area.  Do they charge a lot.  Do I have to sign a contract.

I'll be over tomorrow. 

Oh. Okay. Good.

Luckily he works for food.  And now she can go out and get some. Thanks, N. And yes, I'll buy a snowblower now.

Picture from Hometown

The 2005 Top O' the Line Snow Shoveling Machine, Handcranked Model

19 comments:

somenuttychic said...

Great entry!

cneinhorn said...

looks like a nice strapping hand cranked model Mrs L...

;-)

~JerseyGirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/JerseyGirl

ahhliving said...

I am looking at the before and after photos of the car across the street. It appears to be the same car. It was not until after your driveway was cleared of snow, is the car parked directly AT the end of your driveway, opposite side of the street.
You say doofus. However, my mind, being ever suspicious and leaping without hesitation to conspiracy conclusions, wondered if they were looking to have you buy them a new car?  
Like the The 2005 Top O' the Line Snow Shoveling Machine, Handcranked Model. Mrs. L is very resourceful....:)

jevanslink said...

AHH -- two different cars. One was moving.  The other was parked AT THE END OF MY DRIVEWAY, across the street.  Ticked me off.  I was going to try to jump the drift with a running start in the Jeep until it got stuck.  Woulda hit that baby hard.  Mrs. L

jevanslink said...

Jersey Girl -- Yep, like I said, Top O' the Line.  Mrs. L

judithheartsong said...

Yea for N!!!! judi

robbush6 said...

There is something sublime about watching a man work. That snow and ice looks HEAVY.

viviansullinwank said...

{{{{{ Mrs L }}}}}

First of all....I just love the picture of you in the Santa Hat in your side bar! It's great!!!!  I also love your method of smashing the snow with your car and throwing salt on the tracks....priceless!!!!!   When you get that snowblower, please have someone taks some still shots and some video and share it with us. I have a feeling you'll ride a snowblower like no one else has ever done  :)

Vivian

annkiesler said...

Snow!!!  Here in my part of the UK we find the idea of thick snow so romantic and yet so bloody horrific.  We are never prepared, despite the fact that we do get some snow each year.  Never as much as you though.  I've never had to use a shovel or a blower to scrape thick snow from my pathway.  

Just to give you an example of how unprepared we are in my neck of the woods.  One afternoon last winter, we had around 2" of snowfall.  The whole of the town came to a virtual standstill.  It took people an average of 3hrs to travel a mere 2 miles.  Cars were dumped whilst their drivers chose to walk, adding to the chaos.  

Luckily I arrived home before the snowfall started.  I simply sat at home and smirked.  

http://agatha.blog-city.com/

bosoxblue6993w said...

And as soon as the job is finished ,,, when the last shovelful of snow is tossed ... the municipal snowplow will ... at that very moment ... come roaring down your street ... buying the driveway entrance again!  It NEVER fails!

tdain2003 said...

Love the hand cranked model, Mrs. L ; )
Tracy

musenla said...

Well, this top of the line snow snoveling machine is better to look at than the gas powered variety, I'm sure.  

Being a tropical gal myself, I don't understand how you snowpeople can stand going through this ritual every year, lol.  Ahh, the price of pristine white beautiful scenery!

http://journals.aol.com/musenla/Amused

screaminremo303 said...

I'm dismayed by the blatant use of stereotypical images to foster the idea that a man is only good for shoveling snow.

We do pickle jars and kill spiders too.

pollysci said...

Hey, where can I get one?  Do all the parts come with a warranty?  Can I exchange, if necessary, without a receipt?

~tara :)

lamove04 said...

Wow, my toesies are cold just looking at these photos!  I forgot it's still winter-!

(going down to the beach now to work on my tan-line)  

<jk>, it's actually a bit nippy here.  Stay warm, Mrs. L!!!  --Albert

ann7inflorida said...

I'd like to see the 2005 Top O' the Line Paint the House Machine.
Handcranked would be fine.


swmpgrly said...

I love your snowblower...lol  I think we have the same model mine is getting lazy though , maybe hes running out of gas.
Love your journal!
                   

blondepennierae said...

I just found your journal.  A peek at the pictures, a slow read of the words and I find myself needing to go sit in front of the fireplace!  Enjoyed myself.  Pennie

greyhoundloner05 said...

Glad you got outa there before you started knawing on your own body parts.