Wednesday, January 19, 2005

TO DO LIST

Sometimes Mrs. Linklater gets funny stuff in her email that she hasn't seen a million times already.

Some Things to Do Before the Inauguration While You Still Have Time:


1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a glass of clean water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
5. Visit Syria--or any foreign country for that matter.
6. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
7. Hoard gasoline.
8. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
9. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
10. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
11. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
12. Stay out late before the curfews start.
13. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
14. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
15. Use the phrase "You can't do that--this is America."
16. If you're white, marry a black person; if you're black, marry a white person.
17. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
18. Start your school day without a prayer.
19. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
20. Learn French.
21. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
22. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
23. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
24. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
25. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
26. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
27. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a state.

12 comments:

cneinhorn said...

;-)

hehehe...

djzgirl71 said...

LMAO great list!!!  I better get ready!

Stacy

pollysci said...

Whomever wrote this is a genius.  If it's a he-person, I wonder if he's single.... ;)

~tara :)

quartrlyfecrysis said...

Too funny Mrs. L!!!
xoxo~Bernadette

ahhliving said...

These tears are from laughter, I swear..... I thought they left a few suggestions out so I am adding to the list.....

Print off a copy of the Constitution -- you will have a collector's edition and you will be able to pass around copies of your copy in the Underground Blue Freedom Movement.

Visit a forest -- any forest -- take video. When your grandkids ask what you mean when you refer to 'the forest' you will have something to show them.

Save anything that documents women's rights. When the Stepford Wives way of life is mandated, and Sit Down Shut Up Look Pretty becomes the only acceptable form of behavior for women, you and your friends can sit around in the back rooms of the new Uppity Women Speak Easys and reminisce about the good old days.

Cozy on up to what's left of reality today -- this country is about to lose all touch with it tomorrow.

then ... 'Visit' Canada before the provinces become states.

Dalene of AHH at http://journals.aol.com/ahhliving/AHH

screaminremo303 said...

Pissy little liberals all in a row...

Don't you all have something to protest somewhere??

sharkie412 said...

LOL Thank you for the laughs Mrs. L! As usual we have screamin remo rolling his eyes...see comment below me. But that is some funny stuff. Have you seen the Bush song at JibJab.com? Check it out...plenty of laughs at that one.

ann7inflorida said...

This is hilarious!
On a different note, you are a gorgeous woman, Mrs. L.
You look nothing like Carol Channing. {That pic is freaking me out.}

robbush6 said...

You are way cuter than Carol Channing. She is scaring me.

jevanslink said...

Okay, okay, Carol Channing is history.  Mrs. L

lamove04 said...

Remo's just mad because this list is wittier than he is.  Thanks for sharing it, I especially laughed at #9...  :-) Albert

robbush6 said...

You had me at #1. Do you have to be pregnant to get that abortion?