Saturday, April 23, 2005

VEGETATING

We've had the warmest, driest April in decades, maybe since they started keeping records.

Last Saturday, a week ago, I was sitting in a lawn chair under a beautiful blue sky in 75 degree weather watching a doubleheader.  

Last Sunday we had more of the same. You could make toast on the hood of my car. The whole week was summery in fact.

Then somebody messed with the thermostat. Made it colder than Ann Coulter's lips in January. Today it was snowing at Wrigley Field. Nothing you could make a snowman with. But those were flakes falling.

So I stayed in bed. Didn't move all day. I was so ticked off at the weather. Watched kid programming, which consists of Jack Hanna and those Zaboomafoo guys -- and took a nap. I never got out of bed. Until nature called. Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Linklater. Over here.

Eventually hunger pains got the best of me and I succumbed to the siren sounds of Raisin Bran Crisp, which required getting up and getting some milk.  I still went back to bed again. Did I read a book?  Listen to music? Watch the last season of Sex and the City?

No.  I was a vegetable. A rutabaga. A cabbage.   

It was so cold I stayed in bed for 24 hours. I even set up my computer so I could use the keyboard with my head propped on the pillow while I was wrapped up in a comforter.

I'm up now. sitting on the edge of the bed writing this. It's getting close to midnight and I'm wide awake.  It's still cold, too. Freezing outside. Thirty degrees. Colder than Condi Rice's brass. . .buttons during her tour of Europe.

Think I'll brush my teeth and go to bed.



7 comments:

artloner said...

Aww Boo-Boo...9 Million Non-Sexual Completely Unproductive Things To Do In Bed.

*sorry bout' the weather, it's gonna be 37 here in the AM.

xoxoxo
andi

salemslot9 said...

Nobody Told Me
John Lennon


Everybody's talking and no one says a word
Everybody's making love and no one really cares
There's Nazis in the bathroom just below the stairs
Always something happening and nothing going on
There's always something cooking and nothing in the pot
They're starving back in China so finish what you got

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- strange days indeed

Everybody's runnin' and no one makes a move
Everyone's a winner and nothing left to lose
There's a little yellow idol to the north of Katmandu
Everybody's flying and no one leaves the ground
Everybody's crying and no one makes a sound
There's a place for us in the movies you just gotta lay around

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama

Everybody's smoking and no one's getting high
Everybody's flying and never touch the sky
There's a UFO over New York and I ain't too surprised

Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Nobody told me there'd be days like these
Strange days indeed -- most peculiar, mama

daleneentenmann said...

Your metaphors crack me up! And I am not in a funny mood, and it is all about the weather, and I am very glad to know that the esteemed Mrs. L feels remarkably the same as I do...Our March, and for that matter, our February, was unusually warm and dry and well very promising in it's Spring-like demeanor...Day after glorious blue sky, warm sun rays bathing the skin day...And for April? Rain...rain...gray, cold, miserable rain..and more rain...every single sorry day of it, rain. I began to notice the woods molding before my very eyes... At the beginning of this last week, our local meterologist came on and announced a week, a week, ahead of us of dry, of sunny, of warm, for each day of the week. How did the week really go? On Tuesday, from 8:30 am to 1:00 pm, it was sunny and warm and dry. And the clouds rolled back in and the rain began again. It's raining still and wintery damp cold. If it weren't for the hot flashes, I'd be experiencing no warmth at all. Thanks for the respite from my solitary weather-induced misery, you are hilarious, as usual. Dalene

suzypwr said...

I am looking out my window at probably 6 inches of spring on my lawn. I missed those hot days - I was in Canada. Sigh.
xoox

robbush6 said...

One day it's 85, the next it's 50. The pollen is the same, regardless of the temperature. Ahh-CHOO!

ann7inflorida said...

A rutabaga, LOL.

judithheartsong said...

oh you poor thing......... brrrrrr shiver. judi