Thursday, August 11, 2005

Marrying Convicts

They've been called the modern day Bonnie and Clyde. Shooting it out with the cops. 

Theirs is a heartwarming story. A woman steps up and marries a convict then kills a veteran prison guard to help her beloved escape from jail. I don't know about you, but she has touched my heart.

How can you not be moved by the powerful emotion a woman can have for a man who has hurt other people enough to bring the full force and power of law enforcement on his head with a sentence of thirty-five years in the slammer?

She was so moved that she lost her glamorous job as a prison nurse for trying to sneak extra food to him. She even followed him to his next location when he was moved to a different facility. What prison Romeo could resist such a devoted Juliet?

It all gives
new meaning to the old ball and chain, doesn't it?  

Some shrink was on TV this morning talking about the phenomenon of women who marry convicts and she had a lot of psycho babble answers for why this happens.

These babes do not go after the petty criminals. Would you? No, they fall in love with the serial killers and the really violent bad guys.

No mention of being stupid or anything. More like they identify with sadistic men because these DNA depleted females have a sadistic streak, too. Nothing wrong with having something in common.

Heck, why couldn't they just marry regular guys and treat them badly like most women do and take care of their sadistic tendencies that way? Sadism gets such a bad rap.

Actually, I think it's a pragmatic thing.  But these women wouldn't use that word, since chances are they missed school that day. However you have to give them a little credit for hooking up with a guy who has someone else cooking for him and other people doing his laundry. Along with a bunch of guys carrying weapons to keep him line.

On reflection, marrying a convict doesn't sound like a bad idea.

Not to mention that he can only call once a week or so with any requests. You know how guys always want you to pick up more beer and pretzels for them. 

He also won't be rolling over in bed at night asking you, um, how your day was at work, one of the annoying things a girl has to put up with when she's married to a civilian. 

No, this whole marrying a convict has got to have an undiscovered up side. I don't think enough women have considered inmates as a option in this world we live in.

When I know what the upside is I'll get back to you.  Don't hold your breath.  Ha.


robbush6 said...

Freud says we're all looking for our fathers. Who's yo' daddy?

Heartwarming, indeed. The Montagues and Capulets in orange jumpsuits. She has attachment issues. He can't commit. It's the age-old story.

Now pass me a tissue. I'm all choked up.

salemslot9 said...

"Bonnie and Clyde"?
I don't think so :(

suzypwr said...

Let's not forget he has a steady job for the next 35 years, making about 17 cents an hour. Plus he is a captive audience. Perhaps there are some overlooked merits here.


judithheartsong said...

"Actually, I think it's a pragmatic thing.  But these women wouldn't use that word, since chances are they missed school that day. However you have to give them a little credit for hooking up with a guy who has someone else cooking for him and other people doing his laundry. Along with a bunch of guys carrying weapons to keep him line."

you always have such a unique take on the world:):):) My x would look wonderful in prison orange.


belfastcowboy75 said...

You mean, all I have to do is a violent felony, and--babes galore? Why wasn't I told about this before?

meforevermore said...

I always wondered why women did that... It's so nice to finally understand! They're just looking for their soul mate... Aww... The romance is so sweet it's making me gag...

Seriously I think I'm gagging.

lol So so weird. People are friggin crazy.


pollysci said...

Ooooh...maybe it's that marrying a convinct is a form of suicide not presently excluded by life insurance companies? Yeah, that's gotta be it.


shaz19743 said...

Brings a whole new meaning to the ole ball and chain metaphor !
There could be a market opening here WWW.DATE-A-CON.COM .....where marrige is for LIFE ! or at least 20 to 30 years with good behaviour !
Come peruse our mugshots at your lame brained leisure and pick the homicidal hubby of your dreams !
And remember .....a con is for life ....not just for a ten stretch !

jocko8189 said...

Kudos! Satire lives!

bosoxblue6993w said...

marrying an inmate will NOT raise eyebrows at the trailer park

plieck30 said...

Aww very In ter est ing entry. Paula

dseehoney said...

I will remind you that convicts are people too. Regardless what they have done.  Not to say that what they did was right, but everyone behinds those walls are not the monsters you want them to be. Now I'm won't go as far as losing my own freedom over one. But I know soldiers who have became convicts. Hell, now a days most of us are one step from killing somebody around us. .

dseehoney said...

Wow are you seriously. Have you talked to a lot of convicts to know that they are all broken. Trust and believe I'm not junk been to war twice have to beautiful, smart kids. Have a good DOD job. And smart enough to know that all people in jail are not as you say. That's like me saying all soldiers in the army are alcoholics most are, but to say that they all are is not fair. And you miss my whole point. Everything is not always black or white and shades of gray in all of our lives. And again like I said I would not lose my freedom over it.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear

-----Original Message----
Sent: Thu, 19 Jun 2008 9:31 am
Subject: RE: Your comment in journal

Gee, thanks for reminding me that convicts are people too.  

Let me remind you that while convicts may be people who deserve our concern, their issues do not make them a wise choice for a longterm, successful, intimate relationship.  They are broken. Their personalities don't work right. They often have frustrating learning disabilities and addictions. They have anger management issues, psychiatric problems, and a host of behaviors that make them bad boyfriends and worse husbands.

They are damaged like a car without brakes. They might look good on the outside, but they're very dangerous on the inside.

My point is pretty simple. Why would anyone choose something from the junkyard that we ALL know doesn't function properly, when there are so many other places to find a perfectly good model.

Unless you feel like a piece of junk yourself.

Mrs. L

dseehoney said...

Sorry it posted so many time PC was acting up.

salemslot9 said...

last comment on an almost 2 year old entry
I didn't even remember leaving a comment
I do like the movie "Bonnie And Clyde"
"Son, whatever you do, don't sell that cow!"