Okay I'll do this. Two people tagged me. I'll return the favor some day.
SEVEN THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE.
That I can talk about here.
1. Get a new left hip.
2. Get the right one fixed too while we're at it.
3. Meet all my friends in J-Land for a party. No convention, just a rent a VFW somewhere and hang out for a couple of days. Hey, maybe we all just drive to a Wal-Mart parking lot.
4. Hold my first grandchild. Hand it back to its parents as soon as it poops.
5. Attend my daughters' weddings. Not necessarily in that order.
6. Win the lottery.
7. Do what everybody has been telling me to do for years.
SEVEN THINGS I CAN DO
1. I can write mirror writing [right to left and backwards] with my left hand while, simultaneously, I am writing normally [left to right and forwards]with my right.
2. I have two completely different kinds of handwriting. So different that graphologists [handwriting analysts] think I'm two separate people entirely. I thought I should be on Oprah. She didn't.
3. I can make you laugh.
4. I can make old fashioned fudge from scratch. Hollandaise sauce too.
5. I can reach the top shelf without a ladder.
6. I can tell you the ten things all men want, but it'll cost you.
7. Sometimes after one conversation, I can tell you what kind of car you drive, dog you own, sports you played, and childhood you experienced. Other times, I'm not so good.
THINGS I CAN'T DO
1. I can't stand people who have to have the toilet paper a certain way.
2. I can't watch a movie without my Raisinets.
3. I can't be in the same room with a smoker. Even if they're not smoking, if the smell is in their clothes.
4. I can't stand on my head anymore.
5. I can't jump Double Dutch anymore either.
6. I can't eat Sweetbreads.
7. I can't believe I'm doing this.
SEVEN THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Tall, dark, handsome and breathing
2. Athletic, blue-eyed, funny and not married
3. Intelligent, knowledgeable, former commando who hasn't served time
4. Sipping whiskey voice, far flung imagination, outdoorsman who isn't into animals
5. Risktaker, romantic, cowboy with sloping shoulders who isn't a virgin
6. Lifesaver, dry humor, man's man who likes women
7. Professional, easy going, raconteur who doesn't repeat his stories again and again.
SEVEN THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN
1. Holy S**T!
2. Holy C**P!
3. Holy Toledo!
4. "Freaking" anything, as in
5. No "Freaking" way
6. What the F**K?
7. We're F**KED!
SEVEN CELEBRITY CRUSHES
1. Russell Crowe
2. Sam Shepard
3. Harrison Ford
4. Josh Hartnett
5. The guy that played Reese Witherspoon's husband in Sweet Home Alabama -- not her fiance, the blond guy.
6. Mel Gibson in Mad Max -- the first one and the first Lethal Weapon, the one where he walks to the fridge buck naked.
7. Dennis Quaid
SEVEN PEOPLE I'D LIKE TO TAG:
Anyone who reads this and wants to play, consider yourself tagged.